


A Happy Nightmare

by Noppoh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 08:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 27,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9810656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noppoh/pseuds/Noppoh
Summary: After the war Hermione returns to Hogwarts as the Transfiguration professor. She is plagued by repeated nightmares causing insomnia. Will the observant potions professor notice and decide to help?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everything except the storyline belongs to J.K. Rowling. - This counts for every chapter.

Hermione was tossing and turning in her bed, unable to sleep for the so-manieth night in a row. With a sigh she threw back the blankets and stepped out of her four poster bed. She decided to take a walk to the lake and watch the moonlight reflect on its surface. It was halfway April, the Easter holidays had just started, so she put on some extra clothes under her warm robes to fight off the chill that would still be present in the nights air.

During her walk through the castle she reflected on the last year. After the Battle of Hogwarts she had dutifully helped McGonagall with the rebuilding of the school. By mid-August the school was mostly rebuild. Only the school grounds still bore a lot of traces of the battle that won the ‘Dark War’ as people war calling it these days. Reconstruction of the grounds had continued until the snow started falling in October and had recently restarted.

As the rebuild of the castle was nearing its end McGonagall had asked Hermione if she was willing to take over as the transfiguration professor since she would be too busy with her tasks as headmistress. After some consideration Hermione had accepted the position on the condition that McGonagall would apprentice her to become an animagus, her learning spirit still ever present despite the hardships of war. The women had easily come to an agreement.

As Hermione pushed open one of the great doors of the entrance hall she breathed in some of the fresh nights air. Everything had started out great. Preparing lesson plans, teaching, grading, patrolling and studying with McGonagall had her scrambling to keep up. She mastered the animagus transformation by the end of January – which was a lot faster than most, but nobody really was surprised with that – and she found that she could relax a bit more.

Then the nightmares had started. Practically every night she dreamt she died in one horrific way or another, waking often screaming and bathed in her own sweat. Sometimes she dreamt she was back at Malfoy manor. Bellatrix mad laugh ringing through her head. The odd nights she didn’t dream she woke up feeling as if she hadn’t slept at all. It left her fearful to fall asleep and by now it was becoming increasingly difficult to fall asleep at all.

She reached her favourite willow tree by the lake an tiredly lowered herself to sit at its base, her back and head resting against its trunk, her eyes closed. She could hear the slight rustle of the wind and the lapping sound of the lake a few meters away. 

Before she knew it she had fallen asleep, only to wake screaming at the top of her lungs a mere 45 minutes later. On instinct she leapt up and ran away. A sound from behind her made her spin around, wand in hand.

“Expelliarmus” she cried, swiftly followed by a ‘Stupify’. 

At the last moment she violently jerked her arm, sending the spell wide away from her target, as her senses caught up with her. Standing in front of her was none other than Severus Snape. He had swiftly disposed of her attack with a non-verbal spell and a short flick of his wand. His skills obviously honed to perfection. Hermione’s hands flew to her mouth.

“Oh my, professor Snape, I am so sorry. I was having a nightmare and I suddenly woke up, and you startled me, and I wasn’t thinking, and…”

“Granger” he interrupted.

Hermione realised she was rambling and clamped her mouth shut.

“I really am sorry”, she mumbled while pocketing her wand. 

Snape simply looked at her. “What are you doing here at this time of night miss Granger?” he asked.

Hermione looked away from his dark shape and turned towards the lake. She was surprised to see she was standing only two steps away from the water and realised she would have run straight into it had the professor not made a sound.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she answered, “the moonlight and the sound of the lake soothes me.” 

She could feel his eyes on her and again looked his way.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she stated.

He merely lifted an eyebrow and she cowered under his gaze. How was it he could still make her feel so nervous?

“Ehm, well, I should, ehm, be heading back inside,” she stammered. “Goodnight professor.”

She started walking away.

“It’s a full moon,” she heard after some time. She blankly looked at him over her shoulder until realisation hit her.

“Potion ingredients, of course, I should have known,” she said. 

She nodded another goodnight and started the long way back to her quarters. Along the way she was again emerged in thought, and becoming more horrified by the minute. She had attacked him! Granted, she was still half in her nightmare and operating on instinct alone, but still!

She couldn’t but admire the skill with which he had deflected her attacks though. She groaned. He must have heard her screaming. The shame! Hermione recalled her dream. A faceless person had hit her organs with an ‘Engorgio’, making her explode from the inside out. Despite the trouble it was giving her she had to admit that her brain was getting creative. Without mirth she shook her head.

~~~~~

Severus watched the retreating form of Hermione Granger. He was returning from his plant gathering when he saw a shape under the old willow tree. Once closer he recognised the shape as a sleeping Miss Granger. 

Her sudden screaming had him grab his wand on reflex. Which was lucky cause once he made a sound to prevent her from running headlong into the lake she spun so fast that he doubted he would have been able to defend himself had he not already had his wand in hand. The fact that she had asked him what he was doing and that she thereby had not noticed the bag he was holding was so unlike her he grew even more concerned. A feeling he rather not dwell on. Why he had felt the necessity to answer her question, however cryptically, he didn’t even consider contemplating.

As soon as he was sure she was out of hearing range he called his house elf.

“Grab a vial of dreamless sleep potion out of my personal stock and put it on Miss Granger’s bedside table.”

The elf looked mildly surprised but dutifully disappeared with a soft ‘pop’.


	2. Chapter 2

When Hermione returned to her chambers she switched back into her night robe and sluggishly crawled into bed. Only when she went to put her wand on the bedside table did she notice the vial. She sat back up and grabbed it. Uncorking it she took a sniff. 

“Dreamless sleep potion,” she thought. “How did it get here?” 

She reclosed the bottle and examined it, finding a label indeed identifying it as dreamless sleep. She recognised the handwriting as Snape’s, having dreaded his snide remarks on her essays for several years. Her eyebrows shot up.

“How on earth had he gotten it into her bedroom so short after their meeting?”

She was certain she had taken the shortest route, and even so, he didn’t have the password to her chambers. Her befuddled mind couldn’t find an explanation so it focused on something different: Would she take the potion or not?

Refusing it would be downright impolite but having considered taking it before she had read up on the possible consequences of long term exposure to the potion. They were far from pleasant: First she would become dependent on it, later completely addicted. Among the withdrawal symptoms were insomnia, nightmares (ironically enough), seizures, headaches, panic attacks, anxiety and short bursts of amnesia. 

Then again, she was tempted by the prospect of a night without any further nightmares.

“Taking the potion for one night will not have any side effects,” she reasoned with herself.

Again she uncorked the vial, this time to quickly down its content. She put her head on her pillow and was soon fast asleep.

~~~~~

When Hermione woke up the next morning she felt more refreshed than she had in weeks. After a good stretch she looked at the clock and bolted upright when she noticed it was already 12:13 am. She had slept through the morning and missed breakfast! And if she didn’t hurry she would also miss lunch.

After a quick shower she headed to the Great Hall. As she walked through the teachers entrance she saw that Snape was already there. He gave no reaction to her entering but was eating intently, every so now and then throwing annoyed glances at the students. Only a few students had decided to stay over the Easter holidays but they appeared to make up for their lack in numbers by laughing loudly while one of their piers was apparently telling a story.

While eating she contemplated on how to properly thank professor Snape. She didn’t want to address him at the high table where all the teachers and students could hear her, but she never saw the man in between meals. After a while she had an idea and took the empty vial, some parchment, ink and a quill out of the inner pockets of her teachers robes. 

She had magically enlarged the pockets at the beginning of the school year. Much like she had done with her beaded bag. One of the pockets was even large enough to hold ‘Hogwarts, a history’.

On a small piece of parchment she wrote ‘It is much appreciated’. She transformed another piece of parchment into some string and tied her note to the vial. She walked along the high table and reached in between professor Sprout and Snape to put the bottle next to his left elbow. Without so much as a glance to the vial he grabbed it and put it in his pocket.

Hermione walked away hoping he would at least see the note when he removed the vial form his robes. Once outside the great hall she considered what to do next. She still had a lot of papers to grade but she found it would be a waste to spend her new found energy on such a menial task. Hermione decided that instead she would read a book. There was a slight drizzle outside so she headed towards the library. Once there she chose a book, summoned some pillows from the back of the library and installed herself in one of the boots.

~~~~~

Severus left the great hall soon after Hermione. Once in the hallway he reached into his pocket for the vial. He had watched Hermione form the corner of his eye during lunch and had seen her write a note and attach it to the vial. He hadn’t wanted to put attention to it amidst his colleagues. They would have most certainly started asking questions.

He looked at the note ‘It is much appreciated’. A small smile played around his mouth. He had been glad to see the vial empty and could appreciate that Miss Granger had had the sense not to thank him in public. He walked towards the library. He was looking into a few less known properties of the Fluxweed he had harvested the night before.

One in the library he found the book he was looking for. He started heading back to his chambers but stopped when he saw Miss Granger. He surveyed her. She had some colour to her cheeks and seemed comfortable amongst her nest of cushions. 

She seemed totally engrossed in her book and totally unaware of his presence. Suddenly she looked up, a look of surprise flitted across her face. 

“Professor Snape,” she greeted him.

He realised he had never given her permission to use his first name.

“Miss Granger,’ he replied. “May I join you?”

She stared at him for a while before apparently coming to her senses.

“Yes, yes of course.”

She followed him with her eyes, still looking incredulous, until he sat down and opened his book. He didn’t know what had gotten into him. He was going to take this book to his lab in his quarters. And even if he had preferred the solemn feel of the library, there were plenty of boots to sit in. Why had he felt so drawn to the one Hermione was sitting in?

He tried reading but found himself distracted. He kept glancing towards Hermione, who seemed once more engrossed in her book and totally unperturbed by his presence. He couldn’t help but noticing she had grown into a beautiful young woman. 

After some time he gave up the pretence of reading and full out looked at her. Again it took her some time to notice his stare. She looked at him questioningly. Severus stood up.

“If you ever need some more dreamless sleep potion, simply call upon my personal house elf Elora and she will provide you some.”

Her eyes widened, her surprise and confusion evident.

“Thank you,” she finally answered, “I will.”

“Miss Granger,” he nodded before swiftly turning and striding away. He could feel her eyes on his back. What on earth had gotten into him? He decided he would visit The House of Distractions later that evening to get rid of these silly notions he was having.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione watched Snape leave, utterly astonished by his behaviour. It was so unlike the Snape she knew that she didn’t quite know how to respond to it. 

She considered his offer. Truth be told, she was already starting to feel the fatigue creep back into her system, even though she was only reading. She turned back to her book but found I suddenly uninteresting and carefully closed it.

By the time diner was over Hermione again felt like she did the night before: completely drained and afraid to go to sleep. She wondered if she should taka Snape up on his offer. She longed for another good night sleep and the energy she would feel the day after. Her longing now only proved how fast she wouldn’t be able to go without it. In the end she decided to take the potion for only one more night and use the resulting energy to go shopping the next day. She was in need of some new clothes but had postponed a shopping trip again and again because she was feeling to tired.

Set on her resolve she softly called out for the house elf. Elora promptly appeared and cocked her head in question.

“Euhm,” Hermione said, “professor Snape said you could provide me with a vial of dreamless sleep potion?” 

The elf nodded and disappeared, only to reappear a moment later. She put a vial on Hermione’s bedside table, bowed and disappeared again. Hermione looked on in surprise.

“Equally as talkative as her master I see,” she mused out loud. 

She smiled lightly. When she grabbed the vial she saw it again had a label with Snape’s handwriting. She was mildly surprised that she was apparently getting potions from Snape’s personal stock.

“But then again,” she thought, “it makes sense. No one in their right mind, not even a house elf, would risk simply talking a potion from Poppy’s supply.”

Albeit a very friendly witch in general, Poppy was fiercely protective over her own domain and a sight to behold when angry. With a last shake of her head Hermione downed the potion and went to bed. 

The next and the following nights she stayed true to herself and resisted taking the potion. And so the nightmares started again.

~~~~~

The visit to The House of Distractions seemed to have worked and Severus had had no more unusual encounters with Hermione. He did however keep an eye on her. Something he kept berating himself for but to no avail. 

It was so that he could see her again getting more and more exhausted by the day. He knew form Elora that Hermione had only taken up his offer once and no more. Seeing the state she was getting in he wondered what was holding her back. Two weeks after her last potion he saw Hermione stumble mid-stride on her way out of the great hall. 

“This can go on no longer!” he thought.

He threw down his napkin and set of in pursuit of Hermione.

~~~~~

Hermione forced herself to walk normally towards her chambers. She hoped nobody had seen her stumble. Only a day earlier Minerva had asked her if everything was alright. Hermione had ensured her it was only a light cold and if it got any worse she would go to see Poppy. Minerva had taken her at face value, there was no reason to believe her former protégée would lie to her.

Hermione turned around a corner and jumped in surprise when all of a sudden professor Snape was looming in front of her. Before she knew it he had ushered her in an unused classroom.

“If you don’t take a dreamless sleep potion tonight I will come up to your quarters and force feed it to you.”

“Excuse me?” Hermione replied, ignoring the slight thrill his threat had caused.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “You heard me.”

Hermione angered, “Who do you think you are? I’m a grown woman! You are no longer my teacher! What makes you think…” She stopped mid-sentence, unable to keep up her anger amidst her fatigue. 

She sighed. “This really is none of your business you know,” she said flatly.

He looked at her. “Why are you so adamant against taking the potion?”

Hermione glanced up at him and noticed he was still a full head taller than her.

“I’d rather not become dependent or addicted to the potion,” she replied, “I read up on the possible consequences and they sounded far from pleasant.”

There was a long silence. Snape spoke softly. “I can tell you out of experience that the consequences are easily dealt with once you regain your strength and energy.”

Hermione simply stared at him, her mind whirring with the implications of his confession.

“Well?” Snape continued, “What will it be? Will you take the potion willingly or will I really have to come up to force you?”

A shiver went down her spine and her fantasy momentarily went crazy imagining exactly how that ‘forcing’ would play out. She shook her head, blaming her exhaustion.

“Alright, alright,” she conceded, “but only for this night.”

Snape again raised an eyebrow but apparently decided not to argue.

“Elora will bring you the potion when you get ready to go to bed,” he said. “And I’ll tell her to make sure you actually take it,” he added with a smirk.

Hermione rolled her eyes. Snape’s smirk only grew wider. He moved to leave the classroom.

“Goodnight Miss Granger,” he said before opening the door and disappearing down the hallway.

By the time Hermione was getting ready to go to bed Elora indeed popped into existence in her room. The house elf moved to hand over the potion filled vial.

“Thank you Elora,” Hermione kindly said, looking at the elf.

After some time the elf crossed her arms, rose an eyebrow and started tapping her foot.

“Un-believable,” Hermione muttered.

She uncorcked the vial and downed its content. She handed the vial back to the elf, who accepted it and promptly disappeared. Soon after Hermione was sound asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Hermione felt invigorated, but like the previous time it didn’t last long. Nevertheless she was able to catch up on some grading and had even altered some of her lesson plans. She had seen Snape during mealtimes and had simply nodded at him.

When preparing for bed Elora again appeared in her room, making Hermione squeal in surprise. The elf tried to hand Hermione another bottle.

“Oh hell no!” Hermione exclaimed.

“Master wants me to hand you this. I am not to leave until you drink it,” the elf exclaimed sternly.

“No! Not in a million years!” Hermione said, piqued by Snape’s boldness. “Go tell you meddling master that I only agreed to take it one night!”

Elora hesitated for a moment but then plopped out of existence. With an irritated sigh Hermione sank down unto the bed.

“What was the man thinking?” 

She crawled under the blankets, only to be disturbed by a sound knock on her door a few minutes later.

“Coming!” she cried, getting back up and putting on an outer robe for decency. She walked to the living area to open the door, only to see professor Snape standing there.

“What are you doing here?” she blurted out.

“I’m here to force feed you that potion,” he calmly answered.

For a moment Hermione could only blink at him.

“You’re not serious are you?” she finally asked.

“If I have to be,” he purred.

Hermione swallowed.

“May I come in?” Snape asked.

Hermione snapped out of her staring and stepped aside.

“Of course,” she said, “would you like some tea?” She was unsure on how to manage the situation and her good manners kicked in instead.

“Yes, thank you,” Snape answered, “I’ll have Elora make it for us.”

Hermione laughed. “No thank you, I’d rather make it myself. You would only have her put some of the potion in it. I’m not stupid you know.”

“I’m well aware,” he answered, “You’re annoying little hand never did seize pointing into the air during my classes.”

Hermione looked at him through the open kitchen door. Snape had settled himself in one of the comfortable arm chairs.

“Annoying little hand?” she replied, mock indignantly. 

He simply smirked at her. Hermione returned with the tea and poured two cups. She got momentarily distracted by the elegance with which his long fingers took hold of his cup. She tried to hide her reaction by blowing on the tea in her own cup before taking a careful sip.

They sat in silence for a while. Hermione saw Snape occasionally glancing towards her through his eyelashes. He had long eyelashes she noted. On another man they would have looked feminine, but on him it only enhanced his already handsome features.

“Handsome? Did I just think ‘handsome’?”

Hermione was trying to figure out how that had happened when Snape spoke in a soft voice.

“Why do you prefer you nightmares over a simple solution such as taking a potion to prevent such dreams?”

Hermione looked at him. “Like I said, I’d rather not become dependent or addicted.” She took another sip of her tea.

“What are they about?” he asked in those same soft tones.

She again looked at him, longer this time, wondering why he wanted to know.

“Most of the time I die a gruesome death,” she whispered. It felt strange to share such personal information with her former professor.

“And the other times?”

She averted her eyes and mutely shook her head. He seemed to easily accept her unwillingness to talk about it.

“Trust me when I say that what you are going through now is worse than the withdrawal symptoms will ever be,” he said.

Hermione contemplated that. Did she trust him? She surprised herself when the answer turned out to be yes. Still she wasn’t ready to give in.

“What do you care anyway?” she asked, sounding more rude than anticipated.

He didn’t seem to take offence though. But he did take his time answering her question, first taking another sip from his tea, putting down his cup and steepling his fingers in front of him. 

He looked at her. “I was once in a likewise situation as you are now Miss Granger,” he said. “I was plagued by repeated nightmares. Once I even attacked Dumbledore much the same way as you attacked me at the lake. Although I must admit my spells were a bit nastier than yours.”

“You attacked Dumbledore?” Hermione cried out.

“I did.”

“What did he do?”

Snape smiled, a sight so rare she had actually never seen him do it. “It looks good on him,” she thought,” he should do it more often.”

“He wiped my spells away like they were annoying bugs and pursued with offering me a Lemon Sorbet,” he continued. “He was a silly old men, even back then.”

Hermione could see it was a fond memory, despite its context. She was curious to know what his nightmares had been about, but she felt it would not do the conversation any good if she asked him. Besides, she wasn’t really sure she even wanted to know. Instead she settled on another question:

“You got addicted to the dreamless sleep and went through the withdrawal?”

“Yes.”

Again there was a lapse of silence as Hermione refilled their cups and thought things through. The thought of sleeping without nightmares again was horribly tempting, but still… Then again, if the withdrawal symptoms were indeed less bad than she imagined, maybe the addiction was the lesser of the two evils?

It all came down on the same thing: Did she trust Snape enough to take his word for it? She glanced his way. He was calmly watching her while drinking his tea. The answer was yes. With a sigh she gave in.

“Alright,” she said, “I’ll ask Poppy if she would be willing to supply starting tomorrow. I’ll take them ‘till the end of the school year and use the summer vacation to rehabilitate.”

“No.”

Surprised Hermione looked up at Snape.

“No?”

“No,” he repeated, “I will supply you myself.”

“But,” Hermione protested but Snape cut her off.

“The dreamless sleep potions from my private stash are a bit more refined than those at the infirmary. I will provide you myself.”

Again Hermione found herself staring at him in disbelieve until she finally managed to utter a ‘thank you’. His lips twitched in what could have been interpreted as a small smile, Hermione wasn’t sure. Snape reached for an inner pocket and took out a potion filled vial. He put it on the table.

“I’ll leave this one here for tonight.” He rose from his chair. “Can I trust you to take it?” he asked.

Hermione simply nodded.

“Then I bid you a good night Miss Granger.”

She watched him leave and then returned her gaze to the small bottle on the table.

“What the hell just happened?”


	5. Chapter 5

While Snape walked back to his own quarters he felt a mild sense of accomplishment. He was happy Hermione had decided to start taking the potions, but why he cared as much as he did was beyond him. The fact that he cared he no longer denied. He did however refuse to acknowledge that it could be something more than seeing her in the same predicament he was in years ago and wishing to spare her some of the suffering. 

He had been surprised to hear her laugh so mockingly when he had offered to let Elora make the tea. He couldn’t stop remembering how he had liked the sound of it, as well as her playful answer to his jibe some time later. Severus shook his head and purposefully redirected his thoughts. If he was to supply Hermione for the remainder of the school year he would have to get brewing soon. His current supply would only last for a week.

In the days following Severus could see Hermione steadily becoming herself again. Her gait was once more energetic, she had regained her ever present smile and could be found in the library whenever she had some spare time. Elora still delivered a vial of potion to Hermione’s chambers each night but no longer needed to wait to make sure Hermione actually took it. She had already become dependent and was now certainly getting addicted.

Three weeks after Hermione had accepted the potion she surprised him by showing up in front of the potions classroom after his last class on Friday.

“Professor Snape,” she said, “may I have a word?”

He looked at her before scowling at some lingering third years. They hastily made their retreat.

“Of course,” he answered, once more opening the door to the classroom and inviting her in. Once inside he cast a quick privacy charm an looked at her questioningly. She was biting her lip, a sure sign she was nervous. He found it disturbingly distracting.

“Well, ehm,” Hermione stuttered, “I was thinking that, ehm, with you providing me of potion you would probably have to brew more, and, ehm, if I could perhaps help you?” 

She quickly glanced up at him before resuming studying the floor.

“I have already restocked my supply of dreamless sleep,” he answered, “and I have enough to last until the end of the school year.”

“Oh.” 

Another glance in his direction. He saw her face fall. Before he knew it he was talking again.

“I have however promised Poppy some pepper-up potion, among other things.”

Hermione now looked up at him. He almost rolled his eyes at the eager look on her face.

“If you want you can help me with that tomorrow, after lunch.”

Hermione simply nodded her assent.

“Now, I do believe it is time for diner,” Severus continued. He cancelled the privacy spell and opened the door.

“After you Miss Granger.”

Together they walked to the great hall, earning some surprised looks along the way.

The next day Hermione was waiting for him after lunch. He swept past her and she simply followed. Not a word was spoken during their walk to the dungeons but from the corner of his eye he could see she was biting her lip again.

When they walked past the potions classroom he heard a confused sound. He looked sideways.

“You didn’t think we were going to brew in the potions classroom now did you Miss Granger?”

He could see she started blushing.

“We will be brewing in my private lab in my quarters.”

The surprise on her face was almost comical and he smirked. After rounding another corner he suddenly stopped – Hermione almost bumped into him – an put his hand against the wall. In reaction to his touch the stones melted away and formed an archway.

He walked into the living area of his chambers and turned to see Hermione’s reaction. He knew the students called him the ‘greasy bat of the dungeons’ and could only imagine what they thought his quarters looked like.

Hermione had obviously thought something similar as she was looking at the room with her lips slightly parted. He snorted ungainly when he saw her making a beeline for the large bookcase as soon as she set her eyes on it. Hermione didn’t seem to notice, already to engrossed. He couldn’t help but notice her eyes lighting up while her fingers were lightly caressing the book bindings.

After a couple of minutes he cleared his throat. Hermione jumped as if she had completely forgotten his presence, turned red once more and mumbled an apology. Severus tried to ignore the fact that he found the reaction quite endearing. He also remembered why he had steered clear from the witch as much as possible.

“This way,” he said and turned to the spiral staircase that was visible behind an archway in the far corner of the room.

His lab was halfway up the staircase and had no walls, floor or ceiling in common with the rest of his chambers. This way it could be completely isolated in case of an emergency. In the morning he had slightly modified the lay-out so that there were now two brewing stations instead of one and he had added another chair at his desk. He had also already laid out all the necessary ingredients and tools so that they could get straight to work. Severus walked to one of the cauldrons and looked up as Hermione spoke.

“I’ll be making the draught of peace?” she asked while surveying the ingredients.

“Yes,” he answered, “I presume you know the recipe?”

She raised an eyebrow at him looking slightly insulted. He nodded and set to work. After a while he looked up to see how Hermione was doing. She had her hair drawn back in a messy bun and was skilfully powdering the unicorn horn with a slight crease between her eyebrows.

He remembered the bushy-haired little know-it-all that had always managed to brew the best potion of the class. When he looked at her now he had again to admit she really had grown up into a beautiful woman. That bushy mane had turned into elegantly curling hair that framed her face quite nicely. Her eyes were hazel brown with a tinge of gold around the pupils. Her once stocky build had grown into the curves of a woman and she managed to look both soft and strong at the same time.

Severus felt the urge to smooth the crease between her eyebrows and tuck a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. As if feeling his look Hermione glanced up at him and smiled questioningly. He quickly looked down again and resumed his work, berating himself for being caught staring.


	6. Chapter 6

After a good hour of brewing Hermione stepped back from her cauldron. The potion needed to simmer for 20 minutes before it could be bottled. With a soft sigh she dropped herself in one of the two comfortable chairs at the desk.

She looked towards Snape. She knew his potion needed at least another 15 minutes of close attention before it to had to simmer. She admired the skill with which his long fingers cut up the last bits of mandrake root before tossing them into the cauldron. His mastery was evident in the efficient grace with which he moved around his workbench.

Hermione felt that over the last two months she had gotten a peak of the real Severus Snape, hidden behind a façade of sarcasm and snide comments. She couldn’t deny that she liked what she was seeing, she liked it a lot.

“Shall we have some tea?”

Hermione flinched at his voice beside her, his trademark smirk on his face.

“Yes, sounds good,” she answered. “The draught of peace needs another 5 minutes before it is finished.”

He nodded and asked Elora to bring them some tea. When it appeared on the table Hermione started serving it.

“How long has Elora been working for you?” she asked. “If you don’t mind me asking,” she added quickly.

Snape sipped his tea. “When I started working here Elora was one of the Hogwarts house elves. One of her tasks was to tend to my chambers. And I think she had orders from Dumbledore to keep an eye on me, although she never confirmed or denied that.”

A small smile briefly crossed his face, showing his affection for the house elf.

“Once when I arrived back home,” he hesitated, “in a bad shape,” he continued with a grimace.

Hermione decided she didn’t want to know what passed as ‘a bad shape’.

“She tended to me and then had the guts to go to Dumbledore to questioningly demand him that she might become my personal house elf.” 

The smile was back in full force.

“Dumbledore told me Elora had left him little choice while all the time staying extremely polite. Elora most definitely has a mind of her own.”

They drank the rest of their tea in silence. All of a sudden a shrill alarm went off making Snape literally jump out of his chair. Hermione started giggling, a wave of her wand ending the alarm and extinguishing the flames under her cauldron.

“I’m sorry professor,” she said, “I should have warned you that I had put a timer on the potion. I tend to lose track of time.” She cocked her head at him. “Well, at least we know you reflexes are still good,” she teased.

Snape glared at her, making her giggle some more. She surprised herself with how comfortable she felt in his presence. As she watched him open a cabinet door for empty bottles she went to grab a ladle from a hook on the wall.

Hermione noticed they worked well together with Snape filling the bottles and Hermione corcking and labelling them. At one point their fingers rushed each other when Snape handed her a newly filled bottle. A tingling sensation shot through her fingers and up into her arm.

With slightly shaking hands she corcked and labelled the bottle before glancing up at him, only to see that he was already looking at her. His dark eyes were studying her with what she thought was mild confusion. He stepped closer and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Hermione felt her breath catch in her throat as their eyes locked. His hand was resting at the base of her neck, his thumb idly drawing circles on her skin.

“You should call me Severus,” he said softly, “Hermione.” 

Hermione closed her eyes and exhaled. The sound of his voice saying her name making a shiver run down her spine and heat her up from the inside. 

She had to suppress a sound of protest when he suddenly stepped away. She blinked a couple of times trying to focus. He had gone to his own cauldron, stirring tis contents a couple of times before extinguishing the flames and preparing to bottle if. All as if nothing had happened.

Afterwards Hermione could hardly remember the rest of the Saturday afternoon. She knew they had cleaned up their stations, took a little brake drinking tea in silence and had then both started a new potion. Nothing else out of the ordinary had happened but still she felt she was missing something important.

It was as if something had changed, shifted but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Her own reactions confused and surprised her. She remembered glancing at him every few minutes trying to figure out what exactly had happened. 

All she knew was that she hadn’t minded having him standing so close, not at all. He smelled of spices, and something Hermione could only identify as ‘manly’. She blinked a couple of times when she realised she had been staring into space. Luckily her colleagues were used to her phasing out of a conversation thinking about a reference or a theory. 

If only they knew what, no, who, was on her mind now.


	7. Chapter 7

When Hermione had left Elora appeared in front of him and simply smirked, seemingly highly amused. He glared at her but she laughed at that and disappeared, along with the remnants of the tea. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not understand how he could have let all of that happen.

The small electric spark that had resulted from her fingers touching his had taken him off guard. He had looked at her and saw she had noticed it to. The slight reddening of her cheeks and the sudden tremble in her hands enough to alert his spy senses.

He hadn’t noticed he was staring at her until she glanced up at him and her eyes widened slightly in surprise. Again he noticed the gold that lined her pupils. With her hair tied back in a bun her face looked somewhat more angular, sharper, highlighting the strengths of her character. 

A lock had once more escaped its confinement and before he knew it he had stepped closer to push it behind her ear, just lie he had wanted to do earlier. He then and there decided he didn’t like that she still called him professor and thus had invited her to call him Severus, adding her own first name as an afterthought. 

When she had sighed at that he had felt an almost uncontrollable urge to kiss her and he had quickly stepped back so he could not act on the impulse. He had not even noticed his hand had lingered at the base of her neck until then. He had used his own potion as an excuse to walk away from her and compose himself. 

What on earth had happened?

He had never lost control of himself like that before (not counting his youth of course). Of course he had noticed her glancing at him in confusion but he had put his mask on again, not showing any of his own thoughts and emotions, as if nothing had happened.

He walked down the stairs and into his library. He wondered what the look on Hermione’s face would be when she discovered this place, but quickly shooed away the thought. There she was again, as if she never quite left his mind. He found it aggravating but surprisingly not unpleasant to have her in there.

He shooed away that thought as well and blindly grabbed a book from the shelves, hoping some reading would distract him. It turned out to be a book about the possible side effects of certain potions and potion ingredients.

This made him think of something else he needed to solve. He cursed when he realised that train of thought lead to Hermione as well. He needed to ask her where and how she was planning to fight her addiction.

It didn’t take long for Severus to realise Hermione was avoiding him. Had his behaviour completely spooked her? He tried to catch her in the hallways but she always managed to elude him, or to be accompanied by a colleague or student.

He grudgingly admired her for it. He had always had the canning ability to seemingly appear out of nowhere and his years working as a spy had only honed this ability. He considered simply going to her chambers in the evening but decided against it. If he really had spooked her he didn’t want to make it worse. And if he had to be frank with himself, he didn’t trust he could prevent himself from repeating the incident.

When the exams started the sheer workload of overseeing them, grading the poor concoctions the students called potions, and calming some overly stressed Slytherins, made him give up his pursuit of Hermione.

Two days after the last exams he was walking towards the library when someone holding an absurd amount of books walked straight into him and nearly fell. His quick reflexes allowed him to both steady the person, now identified as Hermione, and freeze the books in mid-air in one fluent motion. He ignored the tingling in the hand that was supporting Hermione at the elbow. When she was firmly standing again he quickly let go of her. He sneered.

“Did all that reading turn you blind?”

Hermione blushed and looked down. “I’m sorry professor, I wasn’t paying attention.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Obviously,” he drawled. 

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, plucking the frozen books out of the air. “Severus,” she added. So softly he nearly missed it.

The effect it had on him was both extraordinary and profoundly disturbing. He hesitated and watched her stack the last of the floating books in her arms.

“There is something I would like to know Miss Granger,” he said.

She looked at him questioningly. He lowered his voice, realising they were still standing in the hallway.

“Where were you planning to deal with the withdrawal effects?”

“Oh,” she said, looking slightly taken of guard, “I haven’t yet given it much thought to be honest. I guess I’ll simply stay here and see what happens.” 

She smiled up at him. He looked at her, exasperated.

“You’re not serious are you?” he said.

“Why? You said it was no big deal.”

He kept staring at her in disbelieve. How could someone so smart make such a stupid decision? She shuffled her feet, obviously getting nervous under his stare. He let out a sigh and shortly squeezed his eyes shut. He was going to regret this, but he did feel slightly guilty for understating the symptoms.

“That won’t do, you’re coming home with me to rehabilitate.”


	8. Chapter 8

“What!” she cried out, once more dropping her books. 

Hermione hardly noticed how Snape again froze them in mid-air.

“You really should learn to take better care of those books,” he jibed.

Hermione blinked at him, stunned into silence. She had been avoiding him and when she bumped into him, literally that is, she had expected an awkward conversation about the ‘brewing incident’, not this, whatever it was.

“But, how, but, you ,but…” she stammered. Her brain felt like it had completely crashed and was now rebooting. She blinked at him some more. Then her anger caught up with her.

“Excuse me? What are you thinking, ordering me about?” she screamed at him. “You can’t simply tell me what to do! You are…” 

She stumbled as he grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the nearest empty classroom. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the floating books were obediently following. He closed the door and put a silencing charm on it before turning to her.

“Miss Granger,”

“Don’t you Miss Granger me! I’m no longer a student of yours. You can’t just go ordering me around! What if I had plans?”

“You just said you don’t.”

“That’s beside the point!” Her voice grew shrill. “You are in no position to make such a decision for me. Let alone without consulting me!”

“Miss Granger!” he interrupted her.

She crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. She glared at him angrily.

“Although I’m not surprised you’re so adverse to spend such a lengthy period of time with me, somebody will need to keep an eye on you.”

Hermione felt some unease when she heard him phrase her reluctance like that. She actually, to her own surprise, didn’t mind she was going to spend the summer with him. It was the fact he had simply decided for her that had set her off. But there was no way she was going to correct him.

“Why?” she shot back at him.

He was looking at her intently.

“The panic attacks and seizures can get quite severe.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. He sighed.

“I might have slightly understated the severity of the withdrawal symptoms.”

“You meddlesome git!” she snapped again. “You said they were no big deal! How dare you lie to me like that?”

“Old habits die hard?” he answered.

Hermione stared at him. Had he just attempted a joke? She harrumphed.

“I’ll think about it,” she stated, grabbing her books and marching to the door.

“Hermione,” he called after her.

She turned, surprised at the use of her first name given the situation. There was a look in his eyes she couldn’t quite decipher.

“You have to be watched,” he said, “and I honestly believe I’m most qualified to interpret your symptoms.”

She looked at him some time before curtly nodding and leaving. Her anger still simmering she forcefully strode to her quarters, no noticing the few students she passed, nor how they scurried out of her way after one look at her face. She slammed the door shut.

“How dare he!” she thought.

She dropped her books on the table, her desire to read having evaporated.

“How dare he!” she thought again.

She needed to think rationally. Perhaps a good cup of tea would calm her down. She really felt like finding Severus again and hexing him into oblivion. She snorted.

“I wouldn’t stand a chance,” she thought to herself, “I probably wouldn’t be able to hit him even if I attacked him in his sleep.” She rolled her eyes and smiled. “It would be fun to try though.”

Already feeling somewhat calmed she settled herself in a comfortable chair with her tea. She was still annoyed that he had lied to her about the severity of the withdrawal symptoms she was going to have. The thought filled her with trepidation. If he had lied, how bad would it get? And why had he lied?

She shoved those thoughts aside in favour of the more pressing matters. What was she to do? If she really needed to be watched the Hogwarts house elves wouldn’t do. She thought about the people she could ask something like this. 

Her parents were still in Australia, unaware of her existence and therefore not an option. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought of them. She had been planning to return their memory during the summer but now she wasn’t sure that would be an option. She blinked to fight the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Harry and Ginny were quickly scratched from her list of caretakers as well. They had only just moved in together and surely she would only get in the way. Ron was eliminated as well for being, well, Ron. Another option was Molly Weasley, but Hermione didn’t want to put the strain on the Weasley matriarch. She felt the loss of Fred was still to fresh for her to ask something like this. Hermione groaned as she realised that her last available option was Snape.

“You have got to be kidding me!” she said out loud.

With a sigh she started thoroughly examining the option. Gods, she didn’t even know where he went during the summer. Did he stay at Hogwarts or did he have a home somewhere? She decided on the second since he had stated she was ‘coming home with him’.

That meant she would got to an unknown place with a man she barely knew for an unspecified amount of time. 

A part of her trembled at the idea. Surely that was a recipe for disaster! Weirdly enough another part of her wasn’t worried about it at all. Her mind wandered to that Saturday afternoon. She still hadn’t quite figured out what had happened then. She did know that ever since that fateful afternoon she couldn’t stop thinking about him, about his long fingers brushing away her hair, about how close he had been standing and about how she wanted it all to happen again.

She shook her head trying to stop her train of thought. No, going with him was definitely not a good idea. But then again, she had no other choice. 

“Do I trust him?” she asked herself.

Again she was surprised when the answer turned out to be a resounding ‘Yes’.

“How can I still trust him after he lied to me like that?” she thought. “I must be going bonkers!”

But wouldn’t she impose on him like she would on Molly? Wasn’t the Weasley matriarch the better option then? By the time Hermione was getting ready for bed she still hadn’t resolved her dilemma.


	9. Chapter 9

The night’s sleep didn’t bring a solution and Hermione spent breakfast playing with her food and repeatedly glancing towards Severus. He caught her eyes once and simply raised an eyebrow. Hermione fought the urge to growl. 

She decided she would go for a run in the Forbidden Forest. Maybe the simpler mind of her animal form would allow her to make the decision she had already taken but refused to acknowledge. Hermione walked briskly towards Hagrid’s hut and knocked on the door. Hagrid seemed happy to see her and offered her a cup of tea.

“No, thank you Hagrid,” Hermione replied, “I was thinking about a run in the forest. Would you mind if I left my teacher robes here and transformed in here? There are too many students out and I do not wish to be overseen.”

“Of course, of course!”

Hermione smiled. “Thanks Hagrid.”

She draped her robes on one of the huge chairs and concentrated on her animal form. Soon there was a small lynx standing on her spot. As always Hermione was momentarily overwhelmed by the strength of her animal senses. She could hear the giant squid flap around his tentacles and the giggles of the children that were being splashed. Her ears twitched and her tail flicked.

She trotted after Hagrid and slipped out of the back door when he opened it. Once in the forest she started running. She absolutely loved the speed and strength as a lynx. Her paws made no sound on the soft forest floor and her quick reflexes prevented her from running into obstacles.

After some time she spotted a small clearing. She found a sunny spot at the edge and curled up to soak up the sun. With her head on her front paws she softly started spinning in pleasure. Her thoughts soon turned to the dilemma at hand. As she had hoped her animal mind had less problems with it. Mainly focused on self-preservation it quickly agreed with Severus on him being the best option to guide her through the process. 

Now there was only the matter of when and where to tell him. She hated having to tell him he was right, again. Eventually she settled on telling him on Tuesday after breakfast. It would give the illusion she had to think about it somewhat longer than she did, but would give him plenty of time to make some extra arrangements if needed. The students would leave on Friday morning and after some final duties and a small ‘end of schoolyear’ gathering during lunch the teachers were free to leave. 

Pleased with her decision Hermione curled her tail around herself and decided to take a nap.

Tuesday after breakfast Hermione waited for Severus in the hallway. Although she had decided this was the best course of action, she was still in turmoil about it. Part of her was mortified about the living arrangement, part of her was absolutely thrilled.

She jerked out of her seemingly never-ending contemplation when the door swung open and the man she was waiting for appeared. He paused.

“Miss Granger.”

“Professor,” she replied. She took a steadying breath. “I am inclined to accept your offer.”

He showed no reaction to her words. After a minute of silence Hermione started fidgeting, unconsciously biting her lip.

“Very well Miss Granger,” Severus eventually said. “I’ll expect you at the front gates at two in the afternoon, Friday. Elora will take care of you luggage, I will apparate us.”

He turned and strode away.

“Well, that went better than expected,’ Hermione thought. 

She had expected at least one snide comment. Shrugging she made her way out of the castle. She had patrol duty outside for the next couple of hours.

The days leading up to Friday passed by quietly. Thursday evening Hermione packed up her things, carefully keeping her mind away from where she would be in less than 24 hours. Instead she focused on the events of the next day. 

After breakfast the students would leave for the train. Some teachers were to accompany them, the head of houses were to check the common rooms for left behind items and/or pranks, and the remaining teachers were to scout the castle and the grounds.

At 12:30 there would be a last, informal lunch gathering of the professors after which they were free to leave. Some stayed in Hogwarts, professor Sprout, professor McGonagall and Hagrid for instance. Most however went away for the holidays, like professor Snape.

“No!” Hermione thought, “Don’t think of that.”

But no matter how hard she tried, her mind kept returning there.


	10. Chapter 10

The entire Friday morning she was jumpy and nervous. She checked her quarters three times for forgotten items, unpacked and repacked her luggage and then checked her rooms once more. At 13:50 she started her walk towards the main gates.

Along the way she tried to put on a neutral face. She knew she was failing miserably, and that he would most certainly look right through it, but she felt she could only try. Approaching the gates she saw a black clad figure standing in wait. He turned to face her once she was within hearing range. She could see he was appraising her and put some more effort into keeping her face neutral.

“Professor,” she greeted him.

“Miss Granger,” he replied.

He held out his right arm for her. Hermione laid her arm on top of his, grasping him by the wrist. She was surprised when she felt his left hand covering hers, keeping it firmly in place. Hermione only had a short moment to ponder on his behaviour before the nauseating squeeze of apparition transported them somewhere else.

They landed on the edge of a forest, next to a road leading into it. There was no house in sight. Hermione looked around in confusion.

“We will have to walk a little ways,’ Snape commented, “The wards are not yet keyed to you and would have thrown you out. Among other things.”

He set of into the forest. Hermione felt his wrist slip from her hand and only then realised she had still been holding it. Fighting her blush she walked after her former professor.

“Do I want to know what you meant by ‘other things’?” she asked after some time. 

He glanced in her direction, a wicked smile on his face. Hermione guessed that she did not. After what had been about a two kilometre walk Snape came to a halt and motioned Hermione to do the same. Without preamble he started intricately waving his wand murmuring and chanting spells along the way. Hermione admired his skill and his efficient but still elegant wandwork. 

She was surprised when he ended it all with a blunt tap of his wand on her head. Some 200 meters in front of her a cabin materialised.

“Oh,” she exclaimed. “It looks … cosy,” she thought.

The idea was so foreign in relation to Snape that her mind had some difficulty progressing it. 

“Are you coming? Or are you just going to keep standing there?”

Hermione blinked and saw that he was already standing at the door. She ran over to him, an apology on her lips but he beat her to it.

“There was no need for running Miss Granger.”

“How does he manage to make me feel so inadequate with just one sentence?” Hermione thought.

“Put you hand on the door as I open it,” Snape continued.

Hermione did as instructed and felt a tingle when the door opened. It revealed a small hallway. There was a rug on the floor, a staircase on her right and three doors. She could appreciate how the wooden structure of the cabin was left visible and part of the interior design.

“Cosy,” she decided, was still the most adequate word to describe it.

Elora popped into existence to take over their coats.

“Welcome to Spinners End,” Snape formally said. “You are now keyed to all the wards and are free to come and go as you please.”

“Thank you,” Hermione answered. “I have a feeling that you have quite the collection of wards on this place.”

Snape looked at her. “I was a spy for a long time Miss Granger, as you are well aware. It was necessary,” he paused, “And old habits die hard.”

“Of course,” Hermione answered, feeling chided and worrying her bottom lip.

She heard him let out a small sigh. “Great job Hermione!” she thought to herself. “You’re in his house for less than five minutes and you’re already exasperating the man!”

Snape pointed to the door under the staircase. “Down there are my study and private lab.” 

He again looked at her, giving her a look that would have the first years shiver in fear.

“First rule Miss Granger: Do not go through that door unless invited or given my explicit consent. If I’m down there and you need me you can knock, I will hear.”

Hermione nodded, not trusting herself to comment.

“Through here is the kitchen.”

She followed him through the middle door and smiled at the small but practical kitchen with a round table and a most stunning view of the forest. There was a door leading to a well-kept garden.

“Breakfast is at eight, lunch around 12:30 and diner at 19h,” Snape commented.

Again Hermione nodded. He swept through the door at the other side of the kitchen.

“The living room.”

He hardly gave her time to appreciate the comfortable looking sofa and lounge chairs in front of a large fireplace. She glimpsed a rug and a coffee table before he caught her attention again.

“And this will no doubt become your favourite hideout during your stay,” he said. Hermione didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not. She however couldn’t care less when he opened the door and revealed a two-story library.

~~~~~

He watched her eyes grow wide and full of anticipation as he opened the door to his library. She reacted exactly as he had expected, stumbling in her eagerness to get inside and take a closer look at the books. Endearing really. He supressed a smile. Then he mentally slapped himself for both reactions.

He watched her walk amongst the shelves of books, her finger tracing the bindings as they had in his private quarters. Ever since he had given her the option of staying at his home for treatment he was confused by his own indecision whether he wanted her to accept or not. Not that he would ever admit it out loud. 

The happiness when she did accept had thoroughly knocked him of balance. He had noticed how nervous she had been. Then again, looking from her perspective, living with the snarky potions professor would not be a happy foresight. For the second time that afternoon he let out a small sigh.

“I hope this will not become a habit,’ he thought.

But somehow, with Hermione around, he sincerely doubted that he could escape it. He walked to the spiral staircase at the far side of the room.

“Come on Miss Granger, plenty of time later to soak up more knowledge like the sponge you are.”

He didn’t look back to see her reaction but ascended the stair. The sound of her movements told him she was following. Severus continued his tour around his house by opening the door to the hallway on the first floor. He pointed out the door to his own room.

“It goes without saying you are not to enter.”

Down the hall he pointed at the bathroom door.

“Shared, so please don’t forget to lock it Miss Granger.”

He was delighted when a shocked look crossed her face and she started blushing.

“And this will be you room for the duration of your stay,” he said while opening the final door. “Elora has already put your luggage in the room. I will see you at diner.”

With a court nod he turned and went down the stairs to the hallway below. He wondered how he was going to survive this situation.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione watched him go and turned to the room. It was small but welcoming. To her right was a fireplace and a large bed with green coverings. A silver rug and lounge share sat in front of the fire. Under the window opposite to her was a writing desk and to her left was a wardrobe. The walls were painted in neutral colours.

“Ever the Slytherin,” Hermione mused after seeing the green and silver. 

With a wicked glint in her eyes she raised her wand and changed the bed coverings and rug in red and bronze, gold being too flashy in the small room. She knew it would have Severus go in a frenzy when he saw it. Antagonizing her host wasn’t the best idea but she simply couldn’t help herself.

She noticed her trunk in a corner and started unpacking. While she was putting her books on the shelves that lined the wall bordering the hallway, she mused she wouldn’t be needing them. A smile spread across her face thinking about the library. Saying she hadn’t expected that would be an understatement.

Casting a quick tempus she saw she still had a couple of hours before diner. Not knowing where Snape was she decided to go grab a random book and read in her newly adorned bed.

By the time she had to go down for diner Hermione was happy she had set an alarm. She was reading a most fascinating book on arithmancy and would probably have completely forgotten about diner without it. 

With more than a little trepidation she descended the stairs and stepped into the kitchen. Snape was already present, twirling a glass of red wine. Elora was obviously finishing preparing diner. Chicken with potatoes and carrots Hermione noted.

“Good evening,” Snape greeted her, looking at her over the rim of his wine glass. 

The look sent a shiver down her spine and she remembered why she had been avoiding him after the ‘brewing incident’. If she was honest with herself she wanted him standing exactly as close to her as he had been that day. And now she was living under the same roof as him!

She wondered if he would be wearing his teacher robes all summer, or if he would loosen up.

“Good evening,” she replied as she sat herself down at the table. 

As soon as she was seated Elora served diner and the y ate in silence. Once finished Hermione automatically rose to clean up the table, only to be blocked by the house elf.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Hermione was surprised by the rough but obvious female voice of the elf.

“Ehm, clearing the table?” she said hesitantly. 

Out of the corner of her eyes she could see a smirk developing on Snape’s face. He was watching them and seemingly enjoying himself. Elora had put her hands on her hips.

“You think I’m incapable of doing my job?”

“Of course not!” Hermione quickly answered, “I only wanted…”

“Do you perhaps think you can do it better than me?”

Hermione blanched. “No, no, … I … but …”

“Sit!” Elora commanded.

Hermione promptly sat back down and handed the dishes she was holding to the elf. She blinked at Snape in consternation. The man was smiling in his wine, obviously highly amused.

“You must forgive our guest Elore,” he said, “she is muggleborn.”

“Well, now she knows,” was the elf’s reply.

Snape started laughing, shocking Hermione quite profoundly. She watched as it changed the man completely. Gone was the stern professor and before her sat a somewhat dark but relaxed man. Hermione decided she liked this laughing Severus Snape. 

As mesmerized as she was, she missed the short glance and knowing smile the house elf threw at her. Coming down from his outburst Snape looked at her.

“I have a few questions for you Miss Granger,” he said.

“Please, call me Hermione,” Hermione interceded.

Something flickered across Snape’s eyes but it was gone before she could decipher it.

“Hermione,” he repeated. She briefly closed her eyes. “I assume you know all the possible withdrawal effects?’ he questioned.

“Yes.”

“Name them please.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and he raised one back in challenge. With a sigh Hermione conceded.

“Insomnia, nightmares, headaches, seizures, panic attacks, anxiety and short bursts of amnesia.”

He nodded. “You realise going out on your own will not be an option until you are fully rehabilitated?”

“I am aware of that.”

“What did you tell your friends?”

“That I’ll be travelling.”

“They won’t expect you to write?”

Hermione snorted. “Owl post doesn’t exactly come with a post stamp,” she commented, “I’ll manage.”

Snape’s lips twitched at the remark. “Such a Slytherin thing to do,” he murmured. “Would you like another potion tonight?”

Hermione shook her head. “No thank you professor, no use in putting it off,” she replied.

Snape nodded and rose from his chair. “I’ll be in my study if you need me,” he said before walking to the door.

On the threshold he stopped and looked over his shoulder at Hermione.

“And Hermione,” he said in a low voice, “I remember inviting you to call me Severus. That still stands.”

Hermione took a big gulp of her wine. His comment had all sorts of effects on her. 

She noticed the elf looking at her and turned towards the little creature. Elora smirked at her, eerily alike her master.

“Nice redecorations of your room,” the elf said before disappearing. 

Hermione let out a sigh. She had a feeling this was going to be a long couple of weeks, for more reasons than one.

~~~~~

It took Hermione’s body two days before it caught up on the fact she was no longer providing it with the potion it craved. It were two quiet days. 

She discovered Severus’s summer attire existed out of black pair of trousers and a white shirt. It was most definitely an improvement on the teachers robes. Hermione did her very best to forget that her first reaction on this new Severus was that he looked sexy.

After breakfast Severus always disappeared to his study. Hermione spent her time in the library or in the garden, simply enjoying the outside air and the sun. In the evening Severus had joined her in the library for some reading, choosing the lounge chair while she snuggled up in a corner of the sofa. 

On the third day Hermione tried to persuade Elora to let her bake cookies. After some well-meant head-butting they had agreed on Hermione doing the baking while Elora assisted and cleaned up after her. 

While portioning the cookies on a baking tray Hermione suddenly froze and blinked. 

“Miss Hermione?” Elora asked, “Everything ok?” 

Hermione snapped her head towards the elf and screamed. “What are you? Where am I?”


	12. Chapter 12

Severus was going through his notes when all of a sudden Elora appeared next to him.

“Master must come at once!”

Without warning the elf grabbed his arm an transferred them to the kitchen. A whimpering sound alerted him. He turned to see Hermione pressing herself into a corner of the kitchen, eyes wide and trying her best to be as small as possible.

“Hermione,” he said, taking a step closer.

She whimpered again. “Who are you? How do you know my name?” 

Severus turned to Elora. “What happened?”

“I’m not sure master. She suddenly froze. When I asked her if she was ok she turned and started screaming. She kept asking what I am.” There was a short pause. “Are there anti-apparition wards in place master?”

“Yes, I’ve set them up the day we arrived.”

There was another pause as they both looked at Hermione. She was looking at them with big frightened eyes, still trying to get as far away from them as possible. It hurt Severus to see the brave Gryffindor in such a state.

“Perhaps you should stay out of the kitchen until this is resolved,” he told Elora,” She obviously doesn’t remember what a house elf looks like.”

With a nod and a snap of her fingers Elora disappeared.

“Hermione,” Severus said taking another step closer.

Hermione panicked, “No, no, please don’t hurt me, please, please don’t.”

She was clutching her arm. Suddenly Severus understood.

“Malfoy Manor,” he thought. He sank down on his haunches. “I’m not going to hurt you,’ he said.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Severus Snape, I was you potions professor at Hogwarts.” She stared at him. He inched closer. “You can trust me.”

Hermione snorted. “As if you wouldn’t say that if I couldn’t trust you.”

Severus shut his eyes both irritated and oddly proud of her. “Sometimes you are too smart for your own good,” he said, “little know-it-all.”

That seemed to be the key-word. Hermione blinked owlish.

“What happened? Why am I on the floor? And what are you doing?”

Severus almost laughed at the onslaught of questions.

“You had a lapse of memory loss.” He rose and went to help her stand. “Do you remember where you are?”

She took his hand and stood. “Yes, I remember.”

He rose an eyebrow. “Indulge me.”

Her eyes widened again for a moment but then she smiled ruefully. “I’m in Spinners End, your home, for rehabilitation.”

He nodded and grew serious. “I have a question.”

She curiously looked up to him.

“Back in Hogwarts, when we were discussing you point of view on the dreamless sleep potion, we also shortly discussed your dreams.”

Hermione nodded and cocked her head.

“The other dreams, the ones beside dying a gruesome death, were they about Malfoy Manor?”

Hermione paled considerably and took a step back, fear flickering in her eyes. She supported herself against the wall she had bumped into and looked down.

“Yes,” she replied silently, a slight tremble in her voice. 

Severus contemplated her for a moment. He realised this fear would often re-emerge in the coming weeks.

“You need a cup of tea,” he stated and turned.

Elora appeared at the kitchen counter. He glared at her, about to say something about the meaning of ‘staying away from the kitchen’ but was cut off.

“What? You said ‘tea’. You wouldn’t be talking about tea if she was still freaking out,” the elf said bluntly.

He wanted to give her a scathing reply but held back as he heard Hermione’s tinkling laugh. Perhaps he could let this one slide he thought. 

~~~~~

“It is as if the amnesia has opened the gates of hell,” Hermione thought a week later. 

She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep ever since that day. Either she hardly slept at all or she had nightmares. She really hoped the latter would disappear with the other symptoms, otherwise it would all have amounted to nothing.

In the morning she had splitting headaches, making her incredible grumpy. Severus however refused to give her a potion for it, saying it would only meddle with the symptoms and not help her at all. In the evening she would become anxious. Fearing the most ridiculous things, unable to keep concentrated on her book and pacing in front of the fire.

Most of the time Severus was present when the anxiety kicked in. He always started talking to her, asking what was bothering her and assuring her it would be fine. Asking her what she was reading or what her opinion was on something he was reading himself. Once he had simply demanded she name the ingredients and brewing instructions of polyjuice potion, all the while smirking at her. Hermione was sure her blush had reached the roots of her hair. Nevertheless she couldn’t deny his deep, rich voice and assured tones managed to calm her each and every time.

It was a rainy day and feeling a bit chilled Hermione flicked her wand to light the fireplace. She screamed as a huge roaring fire exploded, scorching the wall and burning the carpet. Elora immediately popped into existence and extinguished the flames.

“What did you do?” the irate elf asked.

“I, I don’t know,” Hermione answered while staring at the fireplace with confusion.

“What do you mean ‘I don’t know’?”

Hermione sat herself down at the edge of the bed. “I only wanted to light a fire. I don’t know what happened.”

The elf looked at her. “I’m getting master Severus,” she said before disappearing.

Hermione couldn’t stop staring at the fireplace and was still staring at it as Elora reappeared, promptly followed by Severus. The latter looked around the room. She heard him mutter something in the nature of ‘bloody Gryffindors’. He looked at her.

“What happened?” he asked. 

“I don’t know,” Hermione said for the third time, looking up at him. “I was cold, I tried to light a fire and it kind of exploded.”

She looked back at the scorch marks on the wall while Severus contemplated her.

“Try again,” he said after a minute.

Hermione was surprised but stood up and repeated the incantation. When nothing happened she frowned and tried again. For the second time a huge fire exploded. Severus quickly extinguished the flames.

“Again,” he said.

Hermione glanced at him and tried again. This time a small fire lit up. She looked at Severus and saw him staring at her intently.

“This didn’t happen to you?” she asked.

“No,” he replied, tapping his lips with his finger.

“And this is not supposed to happen?”

“No.”

They kept looking at each other.

“You’re going to study me now aren’t you?” Hermione finally sighed.

“I most definitely am,” he replied. “I need to do some research. If your magic is still this erratic tomorrow we’ll run some tests.” Without another word he apparated away.

Hermione sighed again and watched Elora magically repairing the carpet.

“I’m sorry about the damage,” she apologised to the elf.

“Nonsense Miss Hermione,” Elora answered, “just try not to blow up the house.”

Hermione refrained from using any magic for the rest of the day, afraid that she would, indeed, blow up the house. Severus didn’t show up for diner. Elora assembled his meal on a tray and disappeared.

“I feel for you Miss Hermione,” she said upon returning.

Hermione started feeling for herself, this bode nothing good. She could however see how this unexpected turn of events would excite the man and she did not wish to undermine any of that excitement. 

Enjoying her meal Hermione prepared for a rough evening and night. Without Severus there to calm her she had no idea how bad her anxiousness would get. She wondered when she had become so dependent on him.


	13. Chapter 13

Hermione woke up even grumpier than usual. As expected her evening had been gruesome and she had hardly slept due to a barrage of nightmares. Upon entering the kitchen she saw Severus was already there.

“Good morning,” he said, way too happy.

Hermione grumbled something in response and turned to Elora. “Coffee?”

The elf smiled and quickly produced a steaming hot cup of the requested beverage. Taking a sip she saw that Severus had already finished his breakfast and was staring at her intently.

She sighed. “Just wait until the caffeine kicks in and I’ll be at your disposal.”

She buttered a toast and started nibbling on it. Once finished her coffee she let out another resigned sigh.

“Ok then, what did you have in mind?”

He motioned her to follow him outside. “Is you magic still erratic?”

“I have no idea, I haven’t tried anything since yesterday.”

He nodded and pointed to a log in the middle of the garden. “Try levitating that,” he requested.

It didn’t take long to determine her magic was indeed still off as the log flew high into the air. Severus conjured himself a chair, parchment and a self-inking quill. He made her levitate the log a couple more times, made her set fire to it and explode it. He conjured some cushions and asked her to summon and banish them. He made her fill a couple of glasses with water, use a drying charm on them after he emptied them and then repair them after he smashed them on the ground. 

The assignments kept on coming and all the while he kept scribbling away. Hermione assumed he was keeping statistics. Sometimes she failed the experiments dramatically. Like the day before the log had exploded in fire, smouldered, not lit up at all, or anything in between. She was happy Severus had put up a shield charm around them both as he asked her to explode the log. At one point she had blown it to so many pieces even he couldn’t repair it anymore. Her drying charm had molten one of the glasses.

Hermione had hoped lunch would give her a break but was sorely disappointed when Severus asked Elora to serve it outside. While eating he plagued her with a barrage of questions. Had her magic behaved strangely while she was taking the potion? Did she do accidental magic when dreaming? Had she noticed anything unusual the last couple of days? And so on.

After lunch the testing started again. Hermione dutifully did everything he asked but by five ‘o clock in the afternoon she was starting to feel rather exhausted.

“Professor,” she asked after being hit by a pillow for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, “how long are we going to keep at his?”

Severus’ head shot up at the use of the word ‘professor’. 

“Do you wish to stop?” he asked.

“I am getting rather tired sir,” she replied.

“Very well, we’ll leave it for today.”

“Oh thank Merlin,” she said, sitting down on the grass and then falling backwards.

There was a long silence.

“Hermione,” Severus eventually said, “why didn’t you say something sooner?”

She looked at him and shrugged, as far as that was possible while lying on the ground.

“You seemed to enjoy yourself,” she said.

Hermione noted he seemed surprised by her answer. He opened his mouth a couple of times wanting to say something but thinking the better of it. He finally settled on asking her if she needed something.

“No thank you,’ she replied, “I’m just going to soak up the sun for a little bit.”

He nodded and rose to leave. “I’ll be in my study if you need me.”

Hermione hummed and closed her eyes. She woke up to the sensation of little hands shaking her arm. Grudgingly she opened her eyes. Surprisingly she had slept without any dreams, good or bad. She looked up at the smiling face of Elora. 

“I’ll be serving diner in ten minutes Miss Hermione,’ the elf said. “You might want to freshen up a bit?”

Hermione sat up and felt a couple of twigs pulling at her hair. She agreed with the elf, a shower would do her good.

Ten minutes later she arrived at the dinner table refreshed and with wet hair. She was starting to feel the first tendrils of anxiety but she ignored them knowing that focussing on them would only make it worse. Severus arrived a couple of minutes later. He took in her appearance and looked at her questioningly.

“Seeing the effect I had on that poor glass I figured trying to dry my hair wasn’t such a good idea.”

Severus laughed. “No, I guess not.”

He flicked his wand at her and Hermione felt her hair dry.

“Thanks,” she said.

Severus shrugged and took his seat. He grabbed the bowl of potatoes and started collecting food on his plate. Hermione followed his example. Halfway another fine meal she spoke up.

“Did all that texting surmount to something useful?” she asked.

“I have some theories,” he replied looking up to her. “Would you agree to some repeated tests the coming days? After each mealtime? I promise to make them short.”

Hermione smiled, realising this was as close to an apology she would get from the man.

“Of course,” she replied.

After diner she had expected Severus to retire to his study like the night before but she was happy to see he followed her to the library. As usual his calming voice helped her through the anxiety and small panic attacks she experienced while reading.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day after breakfast Severus again motioned Hermione to follow him outside. His standard test existed out of levitating a log, setting fire to it, exploding it and then repairing it. Each spell was repeated three times. 

As agreed she did the test after each mealtime. On the fourth day it seemed like her magic started behaving itself again. When tested after lunch her spells had only gone wrong two times. Hermione stood staring at the forest while Severus scribbled some last notes.

“It seems your magic is getting back to normal,” he commented.

“Hmm,” Hermione agreed absentminded.

“Is everything ok?”

She could feel he was standing behind her. “Yes,” she replied, “I was just thinking I would love to go for a run.”

“Then we shall go for a run.”

“Really?” Hermione squealed happily looking over her shoulder, completely missing the ‘we’ in his statement.

“Yes,” he affirmed.

Without further delay Hermione shifted into her animal form. The happy little lynx started running in circles, chasing her own tail, until a large black paw knocked her over. Reflexively she rolled into a defensive stance. She blinked in confusion at the large black panther standing in front of her. 

Hermione tilted her head. “Professor Snape?” she thought. 

The panther sat down with a sound so irritated her suspicion was confirmed. No longer able to contain her excitement she playfully attacked his front paws before shooting away in the direction of the forest.

~~~~~

Severus trotted after Hermione, rumbling deep in his chest. He had been surprised when she had lunged for his front paws but the little lynx was obviously exuberantly happy to be running around. 

Once in the forest he had to keep his wits about him to follow her. She was a lot smaller than him and shot through openings he could never fit through. Her changing directions at the oddest moments didn’t help either. 

At one point he almost bumped into her as she stopped suddenly. He could smell rabbit and a twitch of his ears told him it was situated to their right. The lynx started mock-stalking her pray, but high in the air, tail even higher. Severus’s snort came out as a bark. It startled the rabbit but Hermione pounced anyway. She ran a circle around him and shot of again. His chest rumbled again as he let out another resigned sigh. She had endured his endless testing for him, he could deal with this.

He observed the lynx he was following and pondered on how well her animal form suited Hermione: A medium sized feline with a ruffled coat, both fierce and adorable. She was a fast-on-her-feet, happy bundle of energy.

After another odd change of direction they hit upon a small clearing full of flowers. Severus watched Hermione wander from flower to flower, sniffing them and occasionally sneezing. Her wandering took her back to him. In a very cat-like behaviour she rubbed her head against his side. He stiffened slightly but relaxed as she trotted of and curled up in the sun. He could hear her starting to spin.

Feeling protective of this little cat he circled the clearing twice in search of threats. Finding none he curled up a little ways from Hermione. He watched her fall asleep and kept guard, his ears constantly turning and twitching.

At the first signs of a nightmare he nudged her awake with his nose. Part of him noted how good she smelled but he quickly squashed that train of thought. As she blinked her eyes he stepped back, allowing her to stretch. A flick of her tail told him she was ready to go.

Looking at the sun he figured it was about time to head back. He led the way and she followed quietly, only occasionally pouncing at something or dashing away. He could see she was having the time of her life so he suffered in silence. Along the way he noted some useful herbs and plants and stored the information for later use.

Once back in the garden he shook his body once and transformed back into his usual self. He turned to Hermione. The lynx was shaking her head, clawing the dirt and turning in small circles. She looked utterly frustrated.

“Hermione?” he said questioningly.

After a couple more circles she sat down and looked him dead in the eye. He took that as an invitation of legilimens.

“I am suck!” she yelled at him once he reached her mind, “I am stuck! For Merlin’s sake! I can’t transfigure back! This can’t be happening!”

Severus couldn’t help himself, he started laughing.

“This. Is. Not. Funny!” she practically screamed. “Use homorphus animagus on me.”

“No,” he replied, “no I will not.”

“Yes, yes you will,” she insisted, “I can’t stay like this forever. I don’t even like mice!”

This got Severus laughing again. Hermione glared at him.

“It’s probably just your magic acting up again,’ he said. “If you can’t retransfigure in an hour I’ll assist you.”

He broke eye contact and turned away, affectively ending all conversation. Hermione made an annoyed hissing noise but he only chuckled in reply. He held open the kitchen door. She stately walked inside, heading straight for the fireplace.

“Miss Hermione?” Elora said in confusion.

A flick of Hermione’s tail was her only answer.

“She’s stuck,” Severus supplied.

“Oh,” Elora replied.

“We’ll wait for an hour to see if she’ll be able to turn back on her own.”

The elf nodded and walked over to the annoyed cat in front of the fire.

“Well,” she said while scratching Hermione behind the ears, “you make a fine lynx Miss Hermione.”

The lynx started purring loudly. Severus felt oddly jealous of his house elf.


	15. Chapter 15

Forty minutes later Hermione woke up in front of the fireplace, once more human. Disorientated she sat up and looked around. She found Severus watching her from a chair at the table, swirling a glass of red wine.

“You retransfigured about five minutes ago,” he informed her.

“Oh,” she said while scrambling to get up. “Wait, while sleeping?”

“Apparently so.”

“But that’s not supposed to happen.”

“I know.”

Hermione winced as her spine cracked and protested. She stretched, causing a couple more cracks, and took her usual place at the table.

“Well, I probably shouldn’t be so surprised with the way my magic has been acting up.”

Severus didn’t respond to that. She could feel that he was still watching her. There was a strange look on his face. Hermione turned to face him.

“When did you become an animagus anyways?” she asked. “I took a look at the records when I got registered and you weren’t in it.”

A wry smile appeared. “Officially or unofficially?” he asked. 

Hermione laughed softly; ‘Both,’ she said.

“I mastered the animagus transformation between the first and second war.”

“Did you apprentice under McGonagall?” she asked.

“No,” he answered, “I taught myself.” Hermione blinked in surprise. “I didn’t register because neither Dumbledore nor myself were convinced of The Dark Lord’s defeat. We both agreed it would be beneficial if it remained unknown.”

“Dumbledore approved of you teaching yourself?” Hermione interrupted with a frown.

Severus gave her a scathing look. “I told him once I was successful, not while learning. There was no need to tell him everything that went on in my life.”

She started blushing and looked down at the table. A glass of wine appeared in her line of sight. Hermione looked at it in surprise. She glanced up at Severus just in time to see him roll his eyes at Elora. She had all but forgotten about the elf’s presence. Tentatively she took a sip of the red wine. It was delicious. Severus continued his story.

“During the second war the animagus skill did indeed prove its worth. Now that the war is over and The Dark Lord is forever defeated there was no reason left to keep it a secret. However it wouldn’t have been favourable to simply show up at the Ministry with no apprentice records. And even those morons would have realised you don’t learn a skill like that while spying during a war.”

Hermione grinned at his choice of words.

“Minerva proposed to take me on as an ‘apprentice’, telling everybody it was a skill I long wanted to learn but never had the time for.” 

He turned towards Hermione, he had previously been staring out of the window.

“We agreed on April as my date of mastery. That was about two weeks before you asked Minerva for your own apprenticeship.” He huffed and scowled. “Now everybody thinks you learned faster than I did. Trumped by a student.”

Hermione didn’t know to be horrified or amused. She settled on the latter and laughed. Severus scowled harder.

“I don’t think anybody actually pays attention to such things,” she tried to console him.

“Minerva found it highly amusing.”

Hermione imagined the headmistress teasing Severus about the situation and laughed again. Luckily Elora chose that moment to serve diner, pasta with vegetables and pesto. Hermione could smell a chocolate cake baking in the oven for desert. Still chuckling slightly she started scooping pasta unto her plate.

~~~~~

The next couple of days passed by calmly. Hermione was getting slightly optimistic about her rehabilitation. Her magic seemed to be behaving itself once more and she had experienced less insomnia and nightmares.

Lounging on the sofa in the library Hermione was reading a book on ancient runes. Frowning at an interpretation of the author she lazily flicked her wand to summon a reference book. Alerted by a strange noise she looked up. Hermione squealed and quickly covered her face when she saw at least twenty books flying her way.

Almost instantly Severus apparated next to her. After the fire incident he had set up an alarm to go off each and every time she screamed or squealed. He started laughing loudly at the sight of Hermione covered in books. He was soon joined by Elora who had also popped in.

“This. Is. Not. Funny,” Hermione ground out, trying to sound annoyed but being too close to laughter herself to manage it. Still smiling broadly Severus helped her up form between the books while Elora started sending them back by snapping her fingers.

“I guess another spell went wrong?” he asked.

“Yes,” Hermione replied, “I summoned only one reference book. I suppose some others decided to tag along.” 

She smiled up at him. They were standing very close to each other. He was still holding her hands in his. She could smell him, spices, potions and that smell that was uniquely his. There was a strange look in his eyes.

“Did you get hurt?” he asked softly.

“No,” she answered, “perhaps some bruises on my arms, nothing more.”

To her surprise his long fingers started skimming her bare arms. She winced as he touched on of said bruises and immediately a warmth started spreading from his hand. He was healing her bruise!

She looked at him with wide eyes. That strange look was still there. She didn’t know what to make of it. When his searching hands reached hers once more he blinked and suddenly stepped away. That look disappeared from his face.

“I will leave you to your reading,” he said and apparated away.

Hermione kept staring at the spot he had vacated for a long time. She didn’t know what to make of his behaviour, nor of his sudden departure. She tried to resume her reading but couldn’t stay focussed. Her mind kept replaying the event, trying to make sense of it.

~~~~~

Severus escaped to his study. What had come over him? Why had he felt so concerned about some bruises? Why had he felt the need to heal them?

He started pacing in front of his desk. He had caught himself staring at the witch on multiple occasions in the last couple of days. At breakfast when she still looked somewhat sleepy. When she was soaking up the sun in the backyard as a lynx. In the evening when they were reading in the library. She had a habit of curling her toes when she was intrigued or delighted with what she was reading. 

Severus noticed he was staring in the distance and with a grump he forcefully recommenced pacing.

“I need to get rid of this, this, … whatever it is!” he thought, “It won’t do. It is interfering with my life!”

His mind wandered back to Hermione. Her skin had felt so soft under his fingers. He had again smelt her unique scent. She always smelt so good. He wondered if it was just her or if she had a habit of wearing perfume. 

With a curse he banned his treacherous thoughts to the back of his mind. He struggled with them for the rest of the evening.


	16. Chapter 16

That same night Severus was woken by screams. He had heard Hermione screaming in her nightmares before but nothing as heart wrenching and anguished as this. Grabbing his wand he got up, planning on checking up on her.

Charming a T-shirt on his bare upper body he stepped into the hallway. He was halfway to her room when Hermione burst out of it. With a whispered Lumos he let his presence known.

Hermione jumped in surprise only a meter in front of him. She looked at him while a plethora of expressions flitted across her face before closing the distance, grabbing hold of his T-shirt and sobbing against his chest.

Utterly surprised Severus froze. He didn’t know what to do around a crying witch, let alone one that was clinging onto him for dear life. After the first shock abated he realised she was mumbling in between her sobs.

“They died, everybody died, they all died, I had to watch them die, they died...”

Now that was something he could work with.

“Who died Hermione?” he asked gently.

“Everybody,” she mumbled, her face still buried against his chest. 

The idea of how even more awkward this would have been if he hadn’t charmed on that T-shirt flitted through his head.

“Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, the rest of the Weasleys, Lavender, Cho, McGonagall, Flitwick, Poppy,” she recited. “My parents,” she whispered and then added, so softly he almost missed it, “You.”

Her sobs grew heavier again. “And there was nothing I could do, I had to just watch. Everybody died!”

The fact that she could rationalise and stay calm after nightmares of her own gruesome death, but was so racked up after seeing others die spoke volumes about her character, Severus thought. Charming a light to float above their heads he pocketed his wand an wrapped his arms around the trembling witch, awkwardly trying to console her.

“It was just a dream Hermione,’ he said softly. “They are all still alive. Nothing happened.”

“But it was so awful!”

“I know, I know.” He hardly noticed how one hand was trailing up and down her spine while the other held her close to him, his mind was analysing her words. He refused to think about the way she had referred to him, but there was something about how she had mentioned her parents. He realised that, from all the stories he had heard in the last weeks, not once had she talked about them.

With a last sniff he felt her relax against him. Almost immediately she stepped backwards and out of his arms. He felt some reluctance letting her go.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Severus, I have no idea what’s gotten in to me,” she exclaimed.

He looked at her red rimmed eyes and splotchy face. “Are you ok?’

“Yes, yes, I’m fine now. It was just a nightmare.” 

She didn’t look up to him and he frowned.

“One of the worst ones so far,” he prodded.

“Yes, well, it, uhm, caught me of guard?” 

She bit her lip and shifted her weight from one leg to another. He didn’t believe her, he felt that there was more to it than she was telling.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

She shifted her weight again. “I, uhm, should be getting back to bed,” she said. 

She made to turn but he grabbed her arm. With the other hand he lifted her chin so she was looking at him.

“Hermione,” he said softly, “where are your parents?”

Even in the pale light he could see her face lose all colour. She bit her lip again and a pained expression crossed her beautiful face. She didn’t answer. He assumed the worst.

“Did they die? I never heard of a raid on their home…”

“They didn’t die,” she whispered.

He nudged her chin again, forcing her to look at him. “What happened?” he insisted kindly.

A tear rolled down her cheek and without thinking he wiped it away with his thumb.

“They’re somewhere in Australia.”

He had to strain to hear her quietly spoken words.

“After sixth year I,” she sniffed, “I erased their memories. They don’t remember me at all. I planted the idea to move to Australia. It was the best I could think of to keep them safe.”

Tears were streaming freely down her face. Severus froze at her words. He stared at the witch in front of him. The self-sacrifice and the bravery needed for such an act baffled him. He was astonished at the strength the witch possessed. He felt sad and somehow guilty she had to go through that to save her parents.

“I was going to find them this summer but I don’t know if I’ll have the time, given the circumstances,” she continued.

Severus was horrified. He knew he was at least partially responsible for the fact she couldn’t go find them, if not completely.

“I don’t deserve her.”

He didn’t know where the thought had come from but he couldn’t deny its truth. She was shifting her weight again.

“I’m sorry,’ he finally said. 

He felt his words were highly inadequate. He too shifted his weight, feeling uncomfortable.

“Perhaps we should get back to bed.”

He took a step backwards. Hermione’s head shot up.

“Please don’t go,” she blurted. She seemed equally surprised by her words as he was and started blushing furiously.

“Hermione?” he inquired.

She worried her lip and fidgeted. “Do you think,… Could you perhaps … Uhm … would you mind sitting with me until I fall asleep again? I, uhm, would rather not be alone.”

He stared at her for a long time. She shuffled her feet.

“Sit with you?”

“Yes, that’s, but I shouldn’t have asked, I’m in no position to ask this of you, it was a silly thing to ask, I’m sorry. Forget about it. Goodnight Severus.” She turned towards her bedroom.

“Ok,” he said.

She stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Ok?”

“I understand you do not wish to be alone so I will sit with you.”

For a moment she looked relieved but then drew herself up.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said.

Again he was amazed by her strength. “I really don’t deserve her,” he thought. Out loud he said, “I don’t mind keeping you company.”

She smiled at him and he followed her into her bedroom. The floating light hovered above them.

“I hate burgundy,’ he muttered under his breath. 

Hermione chuckled. He pulled the comfortable chair next to her bed as she climbed in. He noted she chose the bedside closest to him even though the ruffled state of the pillow and her wand on the bedside table clearly indicated that she normally slept on the other side.

She curled herself on her side, trying to get comfortable.

“Thank you for staying,” she said before closing her eyes.

“Hmm,” he replied noncommittal before dimming his floating light to a strength resembling moonlight. He watched her from the chair, his hands resting comfortably on the arm rests. 

It was obvious Hermione had little luck recapturing sleep. After about ten minutes of fruitless tossing and turning she opened her eyes. She was biting her lip looking as if she was unsure what to do. 

Just as Severus was about to say something she hesitantly reached out and took hold of his hand. Surprised he held his tongue. The touch tingled. Her hand felt reassuring and warm in his. He took better hold of it.

Looking form their linked hands to her face he saw her breath slow to the even, peaceful rhythm of sleep. Her face relaxed. He couldn’t deny that she looked absolutely gorgeous. For a long time he simply looked at her.


	17. Chapter 17

When Hermione woke up she felt utterly relaxed. She was surprised she had slept that good after that awful nightmare. Most of the time a nightmare like that lead to a night of tossing and turning and little sleep. 

Becoming more aware of her surrounding she realised she was holding onto something warm and comforting. Opening her eyes she saw she was still holding Severus’s hand. Hermione smiled. He had apparently fallen asleep while watching over her. His head had tilted to the right, his hand firmly clasped around hers, even in sleep.

Hermione had never seen him so relaxed. It made him look younger than his years. She looked at him and smiled some more. She knew she had feelings for the complex man. His complexity and his intelligence made him enticing. The more she saw of him, the more she fell in love. And she couldn’t deny she found him good looking as well. He murmured something in his sleep.

“And then there is that voice,” she thought.

She could listen to him talk for hours, if only he talked that much. Every time he said her name she had to supress a shiver running down her spine. She wondered what it would sound like if he whispered in her ear.

Shaking her head she decided to get up, if only to stop that specific train of thought. Carefully she extricated her hand from his. Once she was free he clenched his hand, frowned and he once more murmured something she couldn’t quite catch. 

She wondered if he was dreaming. He looked so sweet and vulnerable sleeping in that chair. She supressed the urge to kiss his temple. As quietly as she could she gathered her wand and her clothes and headed for the bathroom. She was happy to see he was still asleep when she closed her bedroom door.

Once downstairs Hermione asked Elora if she could help making breakfast. The elf had gotten used to her wanting to help and gracefully allowed her to make eggs and bacon. Hermione wondered if she was imagining the speculative glances the elf was giving her.

“I’m probably not,” she decided, “I get this feeling Elora knows everything that goes on around here.”

Severus showed up ten minutes later.

“Good morning,” he said.

Taking the pan off the stove Hermione turned. “Good morning,” she replied.

He looked at her intently. “Did you sleep well?”

She smiled at him. “Wonderfully.”

She thought he seemed almost nervous. Such a difference with how relaxed he had been while sleeping. They kept looking at each other for a long time. Hermione felt a blush creeping up and quickly turned back to the stove. She heard him take his seat at the table. Knowing that Elora now would no longer tolerate her help she followed his example.

Breakfast was a silent and somewhat awkward affair. She felt she owed him some sort of thanks for taking care of her after her nightmare but saying ‘Thank you for last night’ just felt wrong to her. And completely inadequate. 

Besides, she knew Severus was a proud man and she had no idea about how he felt on falling asleep in the chair next to her bed. Sure, she had been thrilled to see him there but she doubted he felt the same. She doubted he would ever see her as anything else then the little know-it-all who’s hand never seized pointing in het air. Unsure of what to do she stayed silent. He returned her silence.

~~~~~

The days continued peacefully. Hermione’s optimism about her condition remained. Her magic hadn’t misbehaved after the book incident and her anxiety in the evenings was lessening. The nightmares however continued on, but none was as harrowing as the one where she had watched everyone die.

Hermione was still immensely grateful for Severus’s intervention that night but the topic had never come up. It was as if they had a silent agreement not to talk about it.

“Perhaps we both find it to awkward to bring it up,” she mused. 

She could however no longer deny she was falling in love with the calm and intellectual man who’s house she was currently living in. Although he never lost his wit, his comments were far less scathing than they had been in Hogwarts. It was obvious that in private he was a different man than the façade he showed the students and teachers. She realised there were probably a lot more facets about him she hadn’t seen yet. She longed to be privy to everything the man was, to be fully trusted by him.

A sigh escaped her lips. Glancing down at the letter she was writing she swore violently as she noticed the ink stain her quill had left. Her mind had drifted off again, leaving the tip of the quill to bleed ink on the parchment. 

With another sigh she grabbed a new piece of parchment. ‘Dear Harry’ she wrote before her mind wandered once more. She wondered what Severus did in his study most of the day. Did he research? Did he brew potions? What did he do with said potions if he indeed brewed them? 

Hermione didn’t dare ask, his warning on the first day interpreted in its wides possible meaning. Up until now there had been no reason to disturb him. Elora had always been there to answer any question or provide for anything she needed. 

Hermione had been watching Severus in what she hoped was an unobtrusive way. He fascinated her. Severus on the other hand had seemed to grow a bit more distant. She wondered why. She feared he may have noticed her growing attachment to him but at the same time she found that unlikely. Other than looking at him a great deal more she was careful not to change her behaviour in any way.

She did enjoy watching him though. He had a certain grace to his movements. She often wondered if it was something natural, a result from dealing with deathly potion ingredients or a learned necessity from his time as a spy. And she still thought he looked sexy in his shirt and trousers, even though she saw it every day.

“I would love to spend more time with him, apart from meal times and the evenings,” she thought.

Hermione looked down at the two words she had written at the top of the parchment and an idea formed in her mind. It was risky but most definitely worth the risk.


	18. Chapter 18

It was risky but most definitely worth the risk. At diner she took her chance.

“Severus,” she said with a question in her voice.

“Hmm,” he replied, looking up at her, chewing on his last piece of steak.

She bit her lip. “I was wondering if you would perhaps, uhm,…” 

She felt a blush creep up to her cheeks and looked down at her empty plate. She had hoped to ask this in a composed fashion but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. Glancing up at him she tried again.

“Would you perhaps consider teaching me occlumency?”

He looked at her in surprise. Hermione was about to apologise for her request when he finally spoke.

“Why?”

She looked up to him. “It seems like an awfully useful skill to have,” she replied.

He narrowed his eyes as if realizing she had ulterior motives. 

“Which I do,” she thought, “and I’m bad at schooling my face so he probably knows.”

Again it stayed silent for a long time. From the corner of her eye Hermione saw Elora watching them, alternating from her to Severus and back, as if following a tennis match.

“Very well.”

Hermione almost jumped in surprise at his sudden words. Realising he had agreed she smiled broadly at him.

“Have you done any background reading?” he asked.

Hermione almost glared at him. What a question to ask! She had done some extensive reading when Harry had been trying to learn back in fifth year.

“I have,” she answered, trying to keep her pique out of her voice. “But if you have a particular book in mind I’m happy to read some more,” she conceded. 

Severus smiled, “I have no doubt that you would,” he answered. “Have you read ‘An advanced theory on Occlumency and Legilimens’ by Theodore Mandrack? It’s not in the Hogwarts library.”

Hermione searched her memories. “I don’t believe I have,” she pouted.

He chuckled at her tone. She decided the sound was worth her vexation.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I have it in my study. Once you’ve finished reading it we’ll discuss and start your training.”

A delighted Hermione was practically bouncing in her chair. He shook his head with mirth and went to retrieve the book. As usual they settled in the library for the evening and Hermione eagerly started reading.

It took her two days to fully grasp the book.

“I’ve finished your book,” she announced at diner. 

“And do you understand it?”

She rolled her eyes at him, making him smirk.

“I’m quite confident I’ve grasped the theory.”

“Any questions?’

“Just one,” she answered, “How does one choose the type of shield to use? They speak of various possibilities, from a stone wall, to mist, to a forest. But how do you know what to use?”

“By trying them all,” he answered. “You keep testing them until you find the one easiest to keep up.”

“What’s yours?”

Severus looked at her, as if deciding whether or not to tell her.

“Darkness,” he finally answered, “impenetrable darkness. If anyone would try to invade my mind now he or she would see absolutely nothing.”

Hermione pondered that for a moment. “What if you don’t want to let the invader know what you are shielding? I know it is possible to present only selected memories or even fake ones, but can you make a shield our of them?”

A small smile played around his lips. She knew he realised she was asking about how he had managed Voldemort.

“You don’t form a shield with those memories, such a thing is too complex to keep up. The trick is not to include those memories within the confines of your shield. It takes quite a bit of practice since your natural instinct is to shield everything.”

“And what if your attacker requires a memory, fake or true, that is confined in your shield?”

“You let it leak out while he or she is busy with another memory.”

Hermione looked at him in amazement. She couldn’t keep the admiration out of her voice. “That sound incredible difficult. I can’t imagine the amount of control needed for that.”

He inclined his head in acknowledgement of her words. “Let us start your training tomorrow after breakfast, when the mind is still fresh and focused.”

The next morning Hermione was both excited and apprehensive. She was thrilled to be spending more time with him and to be learning a new skill. At the same time she feared he would find her growing affection for him in her mind and be repulsed. 

After breakfast Severus motioned to follow him to the little used sitting room. With a flick of his wand the two lounge chairs moved to face each other.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked after they both took their seats.

Hermione nodded. He replied with a court nod of his own.

“Well then, ‘he said, “we’ll start with teaching you how to push me out of your mind. I don’t doubt there are some memories you wouldn’t like to share. If you know how to push me out I will only catch a glimpse. I will not fight you when this happens. Can you trust me on this?”

Hermione found this a silly question. If she didn’t trust him she would never have asked for this. But he seemed to need her answer so she gave him a solid ‘Yes’.

“Good,” he said. “As you no doubt have read, occlumency is mostly the skill to focus and control one’s own mind. To push me out you focus on my presence in your mind and mentally give me a shove to throw me out.”

Hermione nodded in understanding. Severus leaned forward and looked her in the eye. Her breath hitched slightly.

“I will now enter your mind,” he said. “I will stay at the surface and not try to search any of you thoughts or memories. I’ll just let my presence be known. Try to push me out.”

The intensity of his eyes changed and Hermione had the oddest sensation. As if someone was tickling her brain. Curiously she reached out to it, trying to examine it.

“I see you have found me.”

If it was possible to mentally jump in surprise, then that was exactly what she did. His chuckle reverberated through her mind, triggering exactly those memories and emotions she did not want him to see. Panicking she did what he and the books had told her to do and gave him a mighty shove.

She blinked as her vision focused again. Severus was staring at her.

“I should not be this surprised you managed that on your first try,” he muttered.

Hermione blushed and bit her lip, looking away.

“We shall repeat this until you can do this instantaneously,” he said after a moment of silence.

For the next hour she repeatedly pushed him out of her mind. Severus deliberately lightened his touch every time he entered her mind, making it more difficult for her to find him.

“But,” Hermione reasoned, “it’s not like a real intruder would come pounding at the front door.”

Just when she was starting to get a headache he leaned back in his chair.

“That will do for today,” he said, massaging his temples with his long fingers. 

Hermione frowned at the small display of discomfort. 

“Did I do something wrong?”

He looked at her for a moment before answering.

“Having your mind repeatedly pushed and shoved at is hardly a pleasant sensation,” he replied dryly.

She bit her lip. His tone softened.

“You did nothing wrong Hermione. As usual you did very good. The bigger the headache, the better the student.”

She did not know whether to be happy or bothered by that answer. 

He smiled at her confused expression and rose. “Nothing a headache potion can’t solve,” he said. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

Hermione stared at the empty fireplace for a long time before rising herself. She didn’t like the idea she was giving him headaches, but he obviously had known it would happen so she couldn’t quite feel guilty about it either.


	19. Chapter 19

During lunch they discussed defence tactics against legilimens. Remembering Harry’s lessons she asked the question that had been bugging her ever since.

“How come, if I were to cast a protego, I would be propelled back in your mind? Why don’t I encounter your shields in the process?”

“Say your shield is a forest. In order to perform legilimens you must, in a manner of speaking, create a path out of your forest and into the mind of your subject. It leaves an obvious hole in your defences. When a protego is cast you are both propelled back down that path, thereby passing your shield.”

“That actually sounds rather logical.” She scrunched up her nose in dismay of not having figured that out by herself.

He hummed in reply. “Do you understand why breaking eye contact isn’t possible for the victim?”

Hermione thought about her experiences earlier that day.

“You lose you sense of space. And of yourself. I would not have known where your eyes were so I could not look away from them. And I’m not quite sure if I would have been able to distinguish between thinking I’m moving and actually moving. How weird,” she answered.

He nodded in reply. “Exactly. Tomorrow we will start with small visualisations.”

Hermione grinned happily.

The next morning they were once more seated in their respective lounge chairs. Hermione was eager to get started but tried to contain her excitement as Severus gave no indication of wanting to get started himself. Instead he was just sitting back. It seemed to her as if he was contemplating something.

“Right,” he said after about five minutes.

Hermione’s head shot up.

“As said yesterday we will start with small visualisations.”

She nodded.

“We will begin with a demonstration. Once I’ve entered your mind I will grab yours and pull you into mine.”

Hermione gaped. “That’s possible? How come I haven’t read anything about that?”

“If not done properly it is highly dangerous for both minds. Therefore it is only mentioned in the most advanced books and usually not mentioned at all to novices. However, I believe you would greatly benefit from a demonstration. The feeling of being pulled into my mind will be a most disconcerting one. You will not fight, you will not try to break free, you will just let it happen. Is that understood?”

He looked at her sternly, in full professor mode. She nodded. He raised an eyebrow.

“Understood sir,” she replied.

“Good,” he said and leaned forward, looking her in the eye.

Hermione once more felt that tickling sensation, but this time it seemed to wrap around her entire brain. She fought the urge to fight against the constricting feeling. After a short pause she suddenly felt as if she was falling. Swallowing she simply let it happen, as she was told, trying very hard not to panic. She decided she didn’t like falling.

When the sensation ended, shapes started forming in front of her. After blinking several times her vision sharpened and she was looking at Severus. He was standing on an empty plane seemingly made completely out of pavement. It was an eerie sight.

“Where are we?” she asked.

It seemed like a weird question to ask given the circumstances but she didn’t know how else to vocalise her confusion.

“Look behind you,” he answered.

She did as she was told and reeled at the complete darkness that was behind her.

“We’re outside your shield?” she asked after some time.

He nodded.

“And it’s made out of pavement here?” she followed incredulous. 

“You prefer grass?”

In the blink of an eye all the pavement was replaced by lush green grass. Hermione jumped in surprise. He gave her one of his crooked smiles.

“What you see is simply what I am creating for you to see. I can change it at will.”

Several sceneries and rooms flashed by in rapid succession. He stopped at a room that resembled his Hogwarts office.

“Show-off,” Hermione muttered.

He gave her another smile.

She frowned. “How come I am visible?” she asked. “I don’t know how to do this yet. Are you visualising me?”

“There is still some debate about that,” he answered. “Right now it is believed that you borrow the ability from me and create yourself. But that’s a topic for another time. Once we return to you mind you will start with trying some simple visualisations. You will start with a cube.”

A cube appeared next to him.

“Once you succeed in holding the image we will start with other shapes and transforming them.”

The cube grew bigger, then smaller again. Its edges rounded and it transformed into a sphere. Hermione nodded in understanding.

“Good, let’s go back,” he said.

Once more she felt like she was falling. Having expected the sensation she didn’t panic. She trusted Severus to put her back safely in her own head.

The week progressed easily. Each morning after breakfast they worked on Hermione’s occlumency. They had progressed past the cubes and were working on building a rudimentary shield. 

Hermione was also positive about her rehabilitation. Her symptoms were most definitely lessening. Yet she had the feeling Severus was watching her like a hawk, along with Elora. She didn’t dare ask about it in case she was wrong. Perhaps she was just imagining things. And even if she wasn’t it would be a weird question to ask.

So she let it be and instead she wondered what would happen if she was fully healed. She feared Severus would be more than happy to see her go. The idea saddened her. She let out a sigh and rose from the breakfast table for her next lesson.

They were testing what image held best for her as a shield so Severus was lightly prodding while she tried to keep him out. At the same time she was trying to keep a selection of memories at the forefront of her mind for him to see when he did break through. They had served her well as he had already broken through twice. Her concentration however was wavering and while she was focussing on keeping him out she lost her grip on the selected memories. 

All of a sudden her mind’s eye was watching, no staring, at Severus’s hand while he laid down his knife and fork and reached out for his drink. She could never get enough of his elegant hands. She wondered what they would feel like on her skin, if they caressed …

With all her might she pushed him out of her head. She could not believe that had just happened! Blushing furiously she watched Severus lean back in his chair, rubbing his temples. He looked confused. 

She didn’t know how to deal with this. What was he going to do? How much had he seen? Had he understood? Was he going to make some snide remark on how she was just a foolish girl? Was he going to throw her out?

“Hermione?” he started asking.

She jumped up. “I, uhm, I need to go read, I , uhm, think I misunderstood something.”

She hastily retreated towards the library. Halfway there everything went blank.


	20. Chapter 20

The force with which she threw him out surprised him. He rubbed his temples, that was going to turn into one blinding headache. What confused him was what he had seen and felt. Surely he was mistaken? There was no way those emotions were because of him.

“No,” he thought,” she was most likely thinking about someone else and coincidentally looking at me. Perhaps she was thinking about that Weasley-boy. Yes, that’s much more likely.”

He was surprised by the jealous and possessive feelings that accompanied those thoughts. He looked up to her and saw that she was flushing beet red. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to stop for today but she shot up out of her seat. She was babbling as she crossed the room in apparent hurry.

He frowned as she froze halfway to the door. His reflexes took over as he saw her fall. He was just in time to prevent her from knocking her head. He held her down as she convulsed violently. No matter the fact that he had been waiting for this to happen he still felt distressed seeing her having a seizure. As this was the last symptom of her rehabilitation it was a good thing that she was having them. But he didn’t like seeing her suffer like that. He didn’t like it at all!

As her uncontrolled movements stopped he called out to her a couple of times. Her lack of response worried him to no end. Pulling her into his lap he started caressing her hair, repeatedly saying her name. Asking her to wake up. 

The situation catapulted him straight back into history. The way he was holding her reminded him too much of Lilly’s death. He decided then and there that he would protect the woman that was now lying in his arms. He realised exactly how much he had come to care for the clever witch but he had no hopes that she would return his feelings.

“Besides,” he thought, “she deserves someone better than me, someone younger. I have nothing to offer her.”

A plan was formulating in his mind. He would make sure they came out of this as friends. He would maintain that friendship at Hogwarts. Perhaps ask her to brew with him once more. Or go for a run in the forest. Lost in thought as he was it took him a while to realise that she had woken. He stilled his hand.

“Hermione?”

She mumbled something under her breath. For a moment he thought it was ‘don’t stop’ but he figured that was just his imagination. She pushed herself into a sitting position and looked at him with hazy eyes.

“What happened?” she asked.

“You had a seizure,” he answered. 

She pouted. “I thought I was getting better.”

“You are getting better,” he reassured. “This is the final stage of the symptoms. In a week, perhaps two, you will be fully rehabilitated.”

“Oh.”

“Hermione, your attack was quite severe. I must know if you’re alright. Can you please state your full name, the date and location?”

She smiled at him and obliged. “Hermione Jean Granger, it’s the fifth of August and I’m at Spinners End, your home.”

He let out a relieved sigh. She blinked a couple of times.

“I think I’m going to lie down for a while.”

She struggled to rise. As he rose himself to help her she blushed and shied away. He gave her a surprised look.

“I’m ok, I’ll manage,” she said unconvincingly.

She walked away unsteadily and had to grasp the doorframe for support. He let out an aggravated sigh. In a few strides he was next to her and he swooped her up in his arms. 

She shrieked in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“I’m carrying you up to your room. I’m not going to let you fall down the stairs out of stubbornness.”

She opened her mouth as if to protest but decided against it. He felt her relax in his arms as he strode through the library towards the spiral staircase. She rested her head against his shoulder, her hand grabbed a fist full of his shirt. He smiled slightly at her touch.

“Here we are,” he said once he reached the door of her bedroom.

When she didn’t respond he looked down at her and found her fast asleep in his arms. He was surprised that she felt comfortable enough, and trusted him enough, to fall asleep like that. He pushed open the bedroom door. With a short flick of his hand the covers of the bed drew back and he gently laid her down.

Her hand had a dead grip on his shirt however and he had to carefully pry her fingers off. She mumbled something he didn’t catch. With a smile he swiped some hairs out of her face before rising to leave. A strangled sound made him turn on his way out. Hermione was frowning, tossing and turning on the bed.

“Hermione?” he said.

No response. He walked back and grabbed her hand. She stilled immediately, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Severus waited a couple of minutes to make sure she was once more peacefully asleep before attempting to leave again. 

As soon as he let go of her hand the frown reappeared. Her hands clawed at the bedsheets. Frowning himself he took repossession of her hand. She surprised him by yanking on it with considerable force, making him stumble and almost fall.

For a moment he simply stood there. His mind had already deduced Hermione needed his contact to stay calm and peaceful, but he didn’t dare to trust it, nor did he know what to do with that information. 

“Hermione?” he asked, foolishly hoping she would somehow tell him what to do.

She responded by yanking on his arm again. Studying her he decided to do the unthinkable. Letting go of her hand he started talking to her.

“I’m still here Hermione, I’m not going anywhere, I just need my hand back for a little while.”

He felt stupid but it seemed to work, other than a disgruntled noise she stayed calm. Quick and efficiently he took of his shoes. He sincerely hoped she wouldn’t hex him when she woke up, or think him a perverse old man for what he was about to do.

Still talking nonsense he crawled into the bed next to her and took hold of her hands. A hand travelled up his arm before she, to his utter surprise, scooted closer and buried her head against his chest. He swallowed, feeling like an insecure teenage boy.

“Pull yourself together!,” he berated himself. “You’ve been a spy for years, you can handle a women in your arms!”

As if she was made of glass he carefully wrapped an arm around her. She let out a contented sigh. Propping his head up his other arm he looked at her. At this precious women he was currently holding. 

She looked so relaxed when she slept, so peaceful. Like so many others, the war had given her an edge, a constant watchfulness of her surroundings. Always alert. That seemed to be completely gone. He started caressing her curls. He loved the silken feel of them. 

Lying back down he rested his chin on top of her head and decided to enjoy this for as long as it lasted.


	21. Chapter 21

Slowly Hermione started waking. She felt utterly relaxed and content. And pleasantly warm too. Stretching she noticed there was a hard but comfortable body next to her. Unwilling to fully wake she snuggled closer to it. There was a hand caressing her hair as well, how nice. Breathing in deeply she smelled spices and potions and…

She stilled as realisation dawned on her. For a moment she considered faking still being asleep, but the hand had already stopped its caress and there was no way she could hide the blush that was sure to appear. 

“Are you awake?” she heard Severus ask softly.

She opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times. She fought the urge to run her hand over the shirt that covered his chest. He was so close.

“Yes,” she finally answered.

Immediately he rolled out of the bed, leaving her cold and confused.

“My apologies Miss Granger,” he said while unnecessarily straightening his clothes.

Hermione sat up in the bed. “Miss Granger?” she asked.

He glanced up at her but avoided her eyes, looking flustered.

“Hermione,” he conceded. “I know how this must look, and I apologize, but you wouldn’t let go of me.”

“I wouldn’t let go of you?” she replied, still confused.

“No, you, uhm, fell asleep while I was carrying you up and you, uhm, held on to my shirt rather tightly. You grew restless once I managed to free myself. I, uhm, took your hand hoping it would calm you and you, uhm, yanked me down.”

“Oh,” Hermione said. “That kind of makes sense,” she muttered to herself.

“It makes sense?” he asked.

Apparently he had heard her. She looked up at him. Hesitating she bit her lip but finally answered him.

“I trust you to keep me safe.”

He looked taken aback at that. She looked at him, smiling broadly. She had never seen Severus anything other than confident. Seeing him this flustered was definitely new. 

“And cute,” she decided.

“Why did you ask if I was awake?” she mused out loud.

He smiled. “You talk in your sleep.”

“Oh Merlin,” Hermione groaned, “what did I say?”

He smirked, “Nothing of importance.”

Fluently Hermione got out of bed and stalked up to Severus. She poked his chest.

“You tell me what I said!” she demanded.

His smirk grew wider. He seemed to have regained his footing.

“No.”

“Severus!” she whined.

He chuckled. “No. I’m going to my study, I lost enough time already. See you at diner.”

“Diner?”

“You are quite the sleeper Hermione,” he intoned. “It’s well past lunch.” 

With a ‘pop’ he was gone. She stared at the place he had vacated before finding her wand and casting a tempus. It was almost two in the afternoon. She had slept for almost four hours! Had he really stayed with her that long? Why?

Surely she was wrong. She cast the tempus again. It was still almost two in the afternoon. Her stomach growled. Feeling baffled by his behaviour, and milling it about in her head, she went to the kitchen in search of a snack.

~~~~~

The next morning she sleepily trudged into the kitchen to find Elora accompanied by another elf. Realising she would probably insult Elora by offering help in front of another house elf she sat herself down on a kitchen chair.

“Good morning,” she greeted them both.

Elora gave her a cup of coffee. 

“Good morning,” she greeted. “This is Trippy from the Noble house Marrot.”

“Hello Trippy,” Hermione greeted once more taking a sip from her coffee. “Are you here for a visit?”

“Elora is a friend indeed, Miss,” the little elf answered. “But I’ve not merely come for a visit. I am much ashamed, I have come to ask Elora for help.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. By now she had learned that their work was an elf’s greatest pride. Asking for help cannot be easy.

“My masters and their two daughters have all fallen ill. I am but one elf,” Trippy continued looking down in defeat. 

Hermione glanced at Elora.

“Well,” she said, “if Elora is willing to help you I don’t think Severus would mind.”

“I wouldn’t mind what?” sounded from the doorway.

Hermione smiled at Severus. The previous evening had been awkward but she was not deterred.

“Master Snape!” Trippy exclaimed. “This humble elf has shamefully come to ask Elora for help.”

Elora continued the conversation. “The entire Marrot family has fallen ill. Caring for all the members alongside maintaining the house and property is a lot of work for one house elf.” She glanced at Trippy. “Master,” she added.

The last surprised Hermione. She knew for a fact Severus hated being called ‘master’. But he seemed to have expected it and did not react. He turned towards Trippy.

“Has a healer seen them?”

“Yes sir, they have sir. I have potions to give to them. The healer said they should be fine after another week bedrest.”

Severus nodded and looked at Elora. Some unspoken communication passed between them.

“Very well,” he said. “Elora, I temporarily relieve you from you duties towards me and my property so you can fully serve the Marrot family for the upcoming week.”

“Oh no, master, I cannot leave you! I will split my time.” Elora replied.

Hermione however sensed that the response was just for show. She watched the act with interest.

“We can fend for ourselves. I insist,” Severus answered.

Elora looked as if she was going to mock-protest some more but Trippy cut in.

“Master Snape, you are too kind! Thank you, thank you.” He bowed deeply.

Elora addressed him. “Trippy, I must finish breakfast for Master and Miss, then I will come to you.”

“Yes, of course,” Trippy agreed. 

After another bow and shower of thank you’s he disappeared. Elora let out a sigh and raised an eyebrow at Severus.

“Are you sure?” she asked, reluctance clear in her voice.

Severus smiled, “Yes, I am. I’m no longer a spy Elora. I’m not going to suddenly show up covered in blood.”

She gave him a wicked grin. “Your cauldron could explode…”

He glared at her, acting insulted, making the house elf laugh. Elora finished and served breakfast before facing both of them.

“Well then, I’m off. You know you can still call me when the need arises.”

This earned her a roll of the eyes by Severus. She then turned to Hermione, giving the witch a stern look.

“You better take good care of him!” she firmly stated before promptly disappearing.


	22. Chapter 22

“You better take good care of him!” she firmly stated before promptly disappearing.

Hermione blushed at the comment, missing the odd look that crossed Severus’s face. After several minutes of silence Severus turned towards her.

“Well, if you take care of breakfast, I’ll take care of dinner. I think we can both manage to assemble our sandwiches for lunch.”

She blinked at him. “You can cook?” she blurted out.

He raised an eyebrow, looking slightly affronted. Quickly she apologised.

“I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t expect that.”

“Obviously,” he drawled. “Potion making and cooking are not unlike each other,” he offered in way of explanation.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can actually cook,” she thought to herself.

Instead of relating that notion she simply nodded in understanding. She guessed she would find out soon enough. After finishing breakfast she gathered her dishes and walked to the sink, filling it with water. Severus soon followed and silently started drying the cleaned plates. 

Hermione was surprised he didn’t comment on doing it muggle-style instead of using magic. She was secretly happy about it though, it gave her a very homely feel to be doing the dishes with him. As he dried the last utensils she wiped clean the table.

“Hermione.”

She turned as he called her name, smiling at him. “Yes?”

“We will have to pause your occlumency training for a while.”

Her face fell. “Oh.” She bit her lip. “Why?”

“You are bound to have a couple more seizures the coming days,” he answered. “Can you see the danger in that?”

“Oh,” she said again, this time in understanding. ‘I cannot risk having you in my head when that happens. It might harm you. I understand.”

She turned back to the table in order to dry it with a towel.

“Hermione,” Severus said once more.

Again she turned to face him. He was looking at her intensely.

“Let me put a spell on you.”

“You already have,” Hermione’s inner voice answered him. She shook her head lightly and looked at him in surprise. “Wait, what?” she asked.

“With Elora gone there is nobody to watch you. I’m not going to follow you around all day just in case you get a seizure. So let me put a tracking spell on you that will alarm me when it happens.”

She was touched by his care and easily relented. Scolding herself for all the romantic notions that had popped into her head at his words. Severus pulled out his wand and said the incantation. He lingered for a while and then retreated to his study. The day passed by peacefully. She suffered from the occasional tremor in her hands or legs, but nothing serious enough to set off Severus’s alarm.

After an evening shower she made her way to the kitchen, curious for a cooking Severus. Even though she had tried to be silent he greeted her as soon as she walked in. Shrugging she made her way over to the kitchen counter. He was dicing the carrots with the same precision as he treated his potion ingredients. She smiled to herself.

“I bet that if I were to measure them, they would all have the exact same size,” she thought. 

“You know, unlike potions, dinner is not going to explode if the vegetables don’t all have the same size.” She teased him.

He gave her a death glare, making her burst out laughing. Still chuckling she pushed herself off the counter.

“I’ll set the table.”

This earned her a grunt. She smiled some more. Once he had served her diner she tentatively took a bite.

“Wow, this is really good!” she exclaimed.

He looked at her. “Were you harbouring doubts about my cooking skills?”

“Well, yes,” she answered him. “It’s not because you say you can cook that you can actually produce something edible.”

He glared at her again. She giggled.

“Oh, come on, even you must admit that it is not because there is a similarity between two things, and you are good at one, that you are automatically good at the other.”

“You should have a bit more faith Hermione,” he answered playfully.

She laughed. “Oh, I have faith in you Severus, but that simply did not extend to you cooking skills.”

He stared at her for a long time. Realising what she had just said she started fidgeting.

“Where did you learn to cook anyway?” she asked him to break the awkward silence that had descended upon them.

He huffed. “A minor squabble with Dumbledore.”

She looked at him questioningly, scooping up another fork of carrots.

“He wanted me to have diner in the Great Hall like all the other staff members. I was disinclined to do so and had my meals in my quarters. Eventually Dumbledore forbade the house elves to bring me food. In retaliation I learned how to cook.” He smirked.

“But I’ve always known you to eat in the Great Hall, why did you change your mind?” she asked.

His smirk turned into a frown. “He send Minerva to scold me.”

Hermione couldn’t help herself, she threw back her head and laughed.

“Oh, poor you,” she hiccupped. 

A small smile graced his lips. “Yes, poor me indeed,” he sighed.

They continued their diner in companionable silence.

~~~~~

Severus and Hermione easily fell into their new routine. Hermione really enjoyed Severus’s cooking but she teased him mercilessly about the precision with which he undertook the endeavour. She expected him to snap at her but didn’t seem to want to give her the satisfaction. He did however occasionally glare at her or roll his eyes.

She was suffering from tremors and had a couple of minor seizures. On the fourth Elora-free day however she felt a sudden wave of nausea before blacking out. Like that first time in the sitting room she woke up with Severus holding her and caressing her hair. She tried to open her eyes but the light caused an explosion of pain and she groaned.

“Hermione! Are you all right?” Severus asked, obviously worried.

“Headache,” she ground out.

He gently probed her head and she winced as he found a lump where her head had hit the floor. After muttering something under his breath he gently scooped her up in his arms.

“Name, date, location?” he asked.

She buried her face against his chest, shielding her eyes from any form of light. She could practically envision the stoic look on his face that usually accompanied that tone of voice. Vaguely she wondered if something was wrong.

“Hermione Jean Granger, 9th of August, Spinners End,” she mumbled dutifully.

Once in her room he carefully lowered her onto the bed. She thought the room was dark but she didn’t dare take a peek. A soft ‘plop’ told her Severus had left. Before she could fully wonder about that another ‘plop’ announced his return.

“Open your eyes Hermione,” he said softly. “It’s dark in here.”

Hesitantly she cracked open an eye. Seeing that it indeed was dark she blinked a couple of times. She could barely make out the dark shape that was Severus standing next to her. He was holding out a vial.

“Headache potion.”

She gladly accepted it. A sigh escaped her as she felt the headache diminish. Already she could feel herself drifting off to sleep. She smiled as she felt Severus draw the blankets over her and tuck her in. Just on the edge of unconsciousness she could swear she felt him plant a kiss on the top of her head.


	23. Chapter 23

She woke up an hour and a half later. Gingerly she sat up but was relieved to notice her headache was completely gone. After she had located her wand on the bedside table she cast a lumos and made her way to the library. Too occupied with wondering if the kiss she had felt had been real or just a figment of her imagination she only noticed Severus when she was at the bottom of the spiral staircase.

“Severus!” she exclaimed in surprise.

He glanced up from his book. He was sitting on the sofa she normally lounged in in the evenings instead of his favourite armchair.

“Hermione,” he greeted her, “are you feeling better?”

“Yes, yes loads,” she stuttered.

Not once in the time she had been living in his home had she seen him out of his study in the afternoon. His gaze returned to his book and she pulled herself together. Recovering the book she had been reading she sat herself down on the other side of the couch, her legs tucked underneath her.

After about half an hour however her legs started cramping up. She wanted to stretch them, badly. She knew she couldn’t keep sitting this way. Glancing sideways at Severus she got slightly annoyed. Somewhere along the line she had come to see this particular couch as hers.

“And by Merlin, I’m not going to change seats just because he did!” she thought vehemently. “He will just have to deal with it!”

Tentatively and while biting her lip she stretched her legs until her feet were resting against his leg. She relaxed slightly when he didn’t scoot away or started yelling at her. She relaxed even more when she realised he wasn’t going to react at all. Turning back to her book she found the paragraph where she had stopped reading.

She startled slightly when she felt his hand come to rest on top of her ankle, his thumb tracing up and down the side of her foot. She bit her lips once more. The touch send shivers up and down her spine. His hand was warm, his thumb brushing feather light across her skin.

“This is so nice,” she thought, “so wonderful.”

She tried returning her attention to her book but after reading the same sentence for the sixth time she realised it was futile. Her mind had turned into a jumbled mess. Her heart was racing and she tried to calm her breathing. With shock she realised she wanted more from him. Desperately she wanted to kiss him, she wanted his hand to travel up her leg.

“I need to get out of here!” she panicked.

Breathing in deeply she tried to steady her voice. “Would you like some tea?” she asked, glad beyond relieve that her voice hadn’t trembled. His hand returned to his book.

“Yes, that would be nice,” he replied, still intent on what he was reading.

Hermione got up and walked to the kitchen, trying desperately not to look as if she was fleeing, even though she was. In her haste she forgot her wand on the table next to the sofa. Once in the kitchen she let out a shaky breath, steadying herself against the counter top.

“Bloody hell!” she thought thinking about how strong she had reacted.

She filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove, all the while working hard to even out her breathing. With a last shake of her head she opened one of the cupboards. She swore softly as she reached for the teacups and realised they were just out of her reach. 

Suddenly she could feel his presence behind her. She hadn’t even heard him come in. His chest lightly brushed against her back as he reached for the tea cups from behind her, his left hand next to hers. He put them on the counter top to the right, placing his hand next to them, practically caging her in while doing so.

She turned in his arms. Her breath had sped up again and it hitched as she looked into his eyes. She could not decipher the look that was in them but they were dark, incredibly dark. He raised his hand to brush some hairs out of her face, letting his fingertips lightly skim down her neck afterwards. Her heart skipped a beat.

~~~~~

Not long after Hermione left he got up to follow her. He feared he had spooked her. Had he misread her? Seeing how she had left he was afraid he had. He needed to apologize immediately. Arriving at the kitchen he saw her prepare the kettle with shaking hands. He was about to clear his throat as she muttered under her breath.

“Bloody hell, talk about a strong reaction!”

“Strong reaction?” he thought. He had expected confusion about his behaviour, perhaps some curses to his name. How was he to interpret this?

She let out a shaky breath and moved to the cupboard that held the tea cups. He smiled at her cursing. In a couple of silent steps he was standing behind her. Steadying himself with his left hand he reached over and past her to grab the cups.

Her back was warm when he briefly brushed against it with his chest. He could feel a shiver run down her spine. He put the tea cups on the counter top.

“There you go,” he said softly.

She turned around. He could not believe how beautiful she was. How delicate. A few loose strands of hair framed her face and he reached out to brush them behind her ear. Her skin was so soft he couldn’t resist caressing it down her neck. He could feel her pulse beating franticly.

“I can’t resist it anymore, I’m losing the fight,” he whispered.

She swallowed. “What can’t you resist anymore?” she asked softly with a trembling voice.

“You.”

Hermione’s eyes widened, her lush lips forming a perfect ‘O’. After a moment she shyly cast down her eyes and bit her lip. He traced it with his thumb, pulling it from underneath her teeth. 

“Don’t,” he whispered before cupping her chin, tilting her head to meet her eyes once more.

They had somewhat darkened. Caressing her cheek he bent down and gently pressed his lips against hers. He could feel the shock radiating off her. He was about to pull back and apologize after all when her hands drifted up to his chest and she responded to his kiss.

Surprised but immensely pleased he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. Her arms snaked around his neck and the kiss deepened. He could feel her slightly pull at his hair. Unable to resist the urge he lifted her on top of the counter top, pulling her as close as possible, never breaking the kiss. She wrapped her legs firmly around him. Eventually they both had to come up for air. They stared at each other in wonder.


	24. Chapter 24

As he looked into her wide, honey-coloured eyes realisation hit him. He remembered the thought he had had some time ago: ‘I don’t deserve her.’. He took a step back, his arms dropped by his sides.

“My apologies Hermione,” he said, “that should not have happened.”

She frowned at him. “Wait, what?”

“I’ll leave you to your tea.” He turned and walked away.

“Severus, no!”

Against his better judgement he stopped. He bent his head, letting his hair obscure his face. Behind him he heard her hop off the counter.

“That kiss, that, it, it was amazing,” she said haltingly.

He didn’t have to turn around to know she was biting her lip again.

“I, I want to see where it leads us.”

He knew he had to put an end to it now. He wanted to answer he longed for nothing like that but realised that he couldn’t.

“I have nothing to offer you,” he ground out instead.

“You know that’s not true!” she responded.

He ignored her. “Besides, I’m twice your age.”

“So?”

She grabbed his left arm, her hand covering the faded dark mark under his shirt. This served to steady his resolve. He looked down at her hand.

“You deserve someone better. Someone of your own age. Someone who can give you a happy life, out in the open. Someone who isn’t … branded.”

“That’s what this is about?”

She stepped in front of him and poked his chest. “You think I care about that?”

“People will think badly of you because of your association with me.”

Hermione put her hands on her hips, giving him a look that would have scared a lesser man to death.

“Well then, let them think! Those who think as such are idiots and well beneath worthy of our attention!”

He was surprised by her outburst. She hardly ever condemned a person, always trying to see the best in them. He couldn’t help but tease her a little.

“Such harsh words Miss Granger.”

“Well, they’re true.”

He sobered again. “As true as mine are.”

She stepped closer, putting both hands on his chest and looking up at him.

“I don’t care, all I want is you.”

Her hands slid around his back as she hugged him.

“I just never thought you would ever be interested in an annoying know-it-all,” she confessed.

For a moment he just stood there, torn between what he wanted and what he thought was right. In the end he gave in. He had spoken the truth earlier, he was losing the fight. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her.

“I actually like beautiful, brilliant, know-it-alls,” he said softly.

Her arms tightened around him. “You think I’m beautiful?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” he answered.

She tilted her head back to look at him.

“Really?” she sounded incredulous.

He smiled. “Yes.”

She reached up and gently pressed her lips against his. The kiss was slow this time, but not any less wondrous. He pressed his forehead against hers.

“Are you sure?” he asked, needing the reassurance that he wasn’t making a mistake.

“Without a doubt,” she answered. 

They stood like that until the kettle started screeching. Together they prepared the tea. He often caught her smiling at him and he smiled back. Part of his mind was yelling at him how much of a bad idea this was, but he did his best to ignore it. 

They moved back to the library, sitting themselves down the same way as they had before. After some time Hermione’s toes started kneading his leg. He glanced at her. She was innocently pretending to read. With a roll of his eyes he put his hand on her ankles and started drawing patterns. A sigh escaped her lips. He smiled.

“I don’t really need that hand anyway,” he thought, “I can turn the pages magically.”

~~~~~

That evening Hermione was tossing and turning in bed. They had spent the rest of the day together, bumping into each other, stealing kisses. She felt that Severus was still a little hesitant but she didn’t mind. She was confident he would come around soon enough.

Turning around once more she let out a sigh. How was it possible she was already missing him? They had retired only a couple of hours ago. Flipping unto her stomach she remembered waking up next to Severus a couple of days ago. It had felt wonderful, comfortable and, most of all, safe.

Tossing to her side she realised that that was where she wanted to be. She had a feeling she would sleep soundly next to him. She started worrying her lip. Would she dare? Fidgeting she considered.

“That would be a bad idea,” she decided.

But then, why was she already halfway down the hallway? She shifted her weight from one foot to the other in front of his door.

“This is a bad idea!” she thought again before lightly pushing the door open.

Stepping inside she looked at the bed. His silhouette was outlined by the moonlight seeping in through the curtains. He was sleeping on his side, curled up. His hair was spread out over his face and on the cushion. Hermione smiled. He looked peaceful.

After staring at him for over a minute she lost her nerve. She turned around to head back to her own room.

“Hermione?”

She squealed in surprise. Glancing over her shoulder she saw he hadn’t moved. Had he been awake all the time?

“Are you all right?”

She fumbled with the hem of shirt. “I couldn’t sleep,” she answered shyly.

He hummed noncommittal and lifted the covers next to him. Surprised but extraordinarily happy she bounded over to the bed. As she crawled in and snuggled against him, he wrapped his arm around her. He kissed the top of her head.

“Better now?” he asked sleepily.

She replied with a happy, unintelligible sound, already half asleep. She could feel him smile in her hair before drifting off completely, utterly content.


	25. Chapter 25

The next morning they found themselves making brunch together; They had both pretended to sleep well past their usual hour, neither wanted to leave the comfort of the other ones arms. Severus was making scrambled eggs, while Hermione was dividing dough for scones.

The small smiles and the bumping into each other made the morning all the more enjoyable. A sudden ‘pop’ behind them made them both swirl, wands raised. Severus noted that Hermione had taken a big step towards him, for some reason that made his heart swell.

“Elora!” Hermione exclaimed. She quickly lowered her wand. “We weren’t expecting you back yet. Is everything alright?”

Elora stood with her hands on her hips, staring down the wand Severus was still pointing her way.

“You are paranoid,” the elf commented.

Severus simply raised an eyebrow.

“Fine! Fine! Flubberworms are a pest.”

“What?” Hermione asked, confused.

“It’s a password,” Severus explained, smiling at her. “After the stunt Dobby pulled at Malfoy Manor, some of the Death Eaters got more creative in their use of house elves.” He turned back to his eggs. “Is the Marrot family doing better?” he continued to Elora.

“Yes, they are out of bed and able to take care of themselves once more.” There was a pause. “What are you doing making breakfast at this hour?” Elora asked.

From the corner of his eye he saw Hermione blush prettily and turn around quickly.

“She doesn’t miss anything, now does she?” Hermione whispered.

“No, I don’t” came her answer.

The witch turned even redder. Severus chuckled and pulled her against his side, kissing the top of her head.

“Finally!”

He looked over his shoulder to see that Elora had thrown her arms in the air at her exclamation.

“Now go sit at the table, you are messing up my kitchen!”

~~~~~

A week later Hermione was feeling really, really optimistic. She hadn’t had a seizure or tremor ever since the on in the kitchen. Severus was still a bit tentative around her, but every so now and then he simply leaned in to kiss her. She caught him staring a lot as well. That, combined with the fact she had slept in his arms all off the previous nights, made her feel almost giddy with happiness. 

As she sat herself down at the kitchen table for lunch, she noticed Severus had put on his mask again. She frowned at him, but mentally shrugged. He would snap out of it soon enough. 

“I think congratulations are in order,’ he suddenly said.

Hermione looked at him in confusion. “Why?”

He gave her a small smile. “You haven’t had a withdrawal symptom for a full week now, I can say with certainty that your rehabilitation is completed.”

“Really?” Hermione piped up happily. “Sweet Merlin, I thought this would never end!”

Something flashed behind Severus’ eyes, but it was too fast for Hermione to catch its meaning.

“Of course that means you are now free to do as you please. You have no doubt things you want to do or places you want to go.”

She stared at him as realisation hit.

“You, you want me to, to leave?” she asked, barely above a whisper.

“I am simply stating that there is nothing left to bind you here.”

“Nothing, nothing left to bind me?” she stuttered. Hermione blinked furiously to keep the tears that were gathering in her eyes from falling. “You want me to leave?” she asked again.

Her question was met with silence.

“But, I thought, you, I, …”

Her breath caught in her throat and she felt like there was a knife twisting in her heart. Perhaps she had misinterpreted the situation? Perhaps he simply wanted his privacy back, she had been imposing on it for one and a half months. Or perhaps he realised he didn’t want a relationship with her after all, and this was his way of getting rid of her? Either way she should respect his wishes. She got up, grateful for the support the table offered her. 

“Of course,” she said, not looking at him. “You want your privacy back, I understand. I’ll go upstairs and pack.” She turned to leave.

“Hermione.”

It sounded almost like a plea, his voice sounded unsure. She stopped, but didn’t turn back, knowing her face would betray her emotions.

“We can continue your occlumency lessons if you want?”

Hermione took a deep breath. “I’m sure we can create some form of schedule.” 

She started walking again. She heard his chair scrape over the floor and not long after his hand wrapped around her wrist.

“Hermione,” he said for a third time. “I’m … sorry.”

She took another shaky breath. “Not, it’s alright, I understand, really, it’s only normal you want your house back to yourself.”

“You misunderstand.”

“I don’t see what there is to misunderstand, Severus.”

There was a long moment of silence, neither of them moved.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered.

Hermione whirled around, and looked up at him. “You don’t?” she asked in a small voice.

He whipped away a tear with his thumb.

“No, you silly girl. I just thought you might want to get out of here.”

“Why would I want to leave? I want to stay with you.”

“Something I’m still trying to wrap my head around,” he answered honestly.

She smacked him on the chest, and raised herself up to kiss him.

“Severus Snape,” she jested. “I am sorry to inform you that you are very much stuck with me.”

He grinned and pulled her closer. “I plan to take full advantage of that.”

~~~~~

A couple of days before the start of the new term, Hermione climbed the stairs to the headmistress office. She had a meeting with Minerva, claiming she wanted to talk about her ‘living arrangements’, purposefully leaving out any details. It didn’t happen very often you could surprise her, and Hermione was going to seize the opportunity.

Severus had gone to his quarters and lab. He wanted to check the wards and the more unstable potion ingredients, before allowing Elora to prepare the rooms for their return. He would be joining the headmistress and Hermione soon. Arriving at the top of the stairs, Hermione knocked on the door.

“Enter.” 

Minerva looked up as her former pupil entered. “Hermione, dear, I’m so happy to see you!” The elderly witch hurried around the large desk and gave her a hug. “How have you been? I haven’t heard from you all summer! Have you gone to Australia?”

Hermione sat herself down in one of the comfortable armchairs, and accepted the tea Minerva offered her.

“Actually, I haven’t,” she said, before explaining all that had happened last year.

A knock on the door interrupted her just as she was about to tell Minerva about Severus’ offer to have her rehabilitate at his house. With a wave of her hand, the headmistress opened the door. Hermione beamed at Severus as he walked in, dressed in his teachers robes, and greeted Minerva with a small bow.

“Severus! Such a surprise,” Minerva greeted him, pouring another cup of tea. “Hermine was just telling me a fascinating story. It seems you have been most helpful last year.”

“Oh, you’ve only heard half of it,” Hermione commented, before continuing her story.

Severus leaned back in his chair, savouring his tea.

“So, you’ve been living with him during the summer?” Minerva asked incredulous once Hermione had finished recalling. Her eyes had grown wide, her tea was long forgotten.

“Yes,” Hermione answered, “and that brings us back to the present, and my living arrangements.”

She reached out for Severus’ hand and he smiled at her.

“I asked her to move in with me,” he rumbled while looking in her eyes.

“And I said yes,” Hermione replied.

They both turned to the headmistress, and Hermione grinned widely. The shocked but pleased expression on Minerva’s face was utterly priceless.


End file.
